女人入洞房那天，早早收起了自己的鞋，等男人脫鞋上床 ，女人卻雙腳踩在男人的鞋上。男人見了，嘿嘿笑著說：「想不到妳還挺迷信的。」
女人卻認真地說：「我媽媽說了，踩了男人的鞋，一輩子不受男人的氣。」
男人說：「我媽媽也說了，女人踩了男人的鞋，那是一輩子要跟著男 人吃苦受罪的。」
女人開始試探著管男人，先從生活小事兒開始，支使男人倒垃圾掃地 拖地，男人全了。
女人說種什麼，男人就種什麼。左鄰右舍女人說跟誰走近點 、跟誰走遠點，男人全聽女人的。
男人正跟人閒聊天，女人一聲喊，男人像被牽了鼻子的牛，乖乖就回去了。
男人正跟人喝酒，女人上前只扯一下耳朵，就被拽進家。
有人激男人：「這女人三天不打，她就上房揭瓦。你也算個男人 ，怎能讓女人管得沒有一點男人的氣概？若是我的女人，非扁她兩下不可。」
男人不急不慌地說：「把你的女人叫來，我也捨得扁她兩下。」
那人急了：「你聽不懂我的話！上輩子老和尚托生的沒見過女人！真不像你爸的種，怕老婆！」
村裡有大事商量，男人一出場，人們就說：「這商量大事你也做不了主，還是把你家女人請來吧！」男人還真把女人叫來了。
女人能管住男人覺得很得意，直到有一天女人在男人耳邊說起了婆婆的不是。
男人紅了眼，一聲吼：「想知道我為什麼不打妳嗎？就因為我媽媽。我媽媽一輩子不容易，我爸爸脾性暴躁，稍有不順心，張口就罵、舉手就打，我爸爸打斷過胳膊粗的棍子，打散過椅子。我媽媽為了我們幾個孩子，竟熬了一輩子。每次見媽媽挨打，我都發誓，我娶了女人決不捅她一根手指頭。不是我怕妳，是我忘不了我老媽媽說的話，她說：「女人是被男人疼 的，不是被男人打的。」
女人驚呆了，她沒想到男人的胸懷竟這樣寬廣。
現在男人在外與人喝酒打屁聊天，女人不喊也不再拽耳朵，有時還會端碗水遞給男人。
有人問男人，怎麼調教出來的？
男人卻一本正經地說：「打出來的女人嘴服，疼出來的女人心服。」
男士讀，女士看，讀出的是感悟，看出的是感動，其實樸實的背後是無限的真情！
看完了，你從中領悟到了那個樸實的道理了嗎？

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust i.e.. trust that I won't get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good and do the right'. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...

Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones don’t appreciate you?
Which ones make you feel good, praises you, boosts you with loving and caring words or annotations.

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-'esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1.  TRUST
2.  COMMUNICATION
3.  INTIMACY
4.  A SENSE OF HUMOR
5.  SHARING TASKS
6.  DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,etc.)
7.  SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8.  GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
9.  GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
10.CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOUR LOVER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.

While having popiah & my now regular kopi-o kurang manis alone at kopitiam this morning, a car with the registration no. 1312 passed by. A number which I still don’t get the answer from bro Pat but coincides with Cher’s birth date. He only said this, from the first glimpse of Cher, he knew she’s not ordinary… 1=1 God, 3=Holy Trinity, 12=12 apostles. (I can hear someone saying “BS” now & I know what he means.) Let’s just hope he’s right. What harm has he done??

Instantly I texted & greeted him a “good morning”. After his round of construction site-survey, he dropped by at the showroom & gave Cher (who was still in her Taekwondo uniform) 2 laminated cards of prayers & for me, 1 laminated picture of Mother Mary holding John Paul II in Her arms when he was shot in 1981.

He gave his promise ~ a massage for me when he knew that I always have problems with neckache. I could hear the nerves twitching sound unlocking when his strong hands kneading through both my arms, hands, back, neck & head like I’m a piece of fat meat. Hah!! My hands are still painful after the pressing ~ minor headaches, he said. No migraine, thank God. Amazingly he could feel the lump in my head where I fainted & hit hard on. But the pain isn’t that bad anymore. This was the best massage I ever had in my entire life.

Believe me, for a moment, I felt Holy Spirit has rested on me via him. No awkwardness towards an almost total stranger whom I have known only by chance not long ago. No blushing when he mentioned, “Don’t worry, I won’t touch your breasts!” Thank you, bro Pat.

Sometimes we just can’t explain why we are doing godly things to certain people. ~ This is what I believe, Holy Spirit works through & in us when we are chosen.

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When I received these black & white pictures from a friend, I fell in love with them instantly. I wish I could travel back to those days where nudity was the 1st natural thing to be. Since when “men” see it as obscenity & sexual arousal? Didn’t God create us in His image? Are we ashamed in His image? It was the beasts in men who have created women as sex icons. It’s how one perceives nudity.

Meet Igor, my sis’ iguana. Babysitting it over the weekend while sis & the rest flew to Miri to attend uncle Louis’ housewarming cum birthday party. Both sis & I love cold blooded creatures. Easy to tend to & they don’t make noise. Hah! Unfortunately Cher doesn’t dare to touch & hold any creatures, be them hot or cold blooded. The sight of a cockroach or a lizard is enough to make her scream & hop around. Haiz!

Yesterday as I was about to pay off after eating Shanghainese Dimsum buffet breakfast with Cher after attending morning church service, I realised my purse was left in another handbag. Panicked. This was the 2nd embarrassing encounter in my life. The 1st time was lucky as I know these vendors well. Now!! Who could I think of to come & “rescue” us from washing dishes for the Shanghainese lady boss? I thought of bro Pat because at that moment we have just communicated through texting. But no lah, I don’t feel nice to impose on him after all I have not really known him for long.  So I called aunt Grace to try my luck. Thank God, she came shortly to our rescue. Phew!

I don’t know why… but it certainly seemed like a very long weekend for me. Still feeling tired & lazy.

Since office’s wifi’s no long available, I use my self-paid broadband at work. But since Ron, my associate colleague, came in to share office with me ~ boss’ cutting cost on rentals, I let her use my office PC (even though she has a laptop but no internet access) and broadband whenever she reports to work on Mon, Wed & Fri. Tremendous pay-cut for her but she seems to be comfortable with it. Now left only two of us. Not sure who’s going to leave next or should I say last??

At home, since “his” disappearance, I also become lazy to go online. Feeling like something is missing in my life. I know what it is but I keep myself busy with online dramas. At least they keep me occupied & sleep well.

Most importantly, I know “he’s” somewhere out there living happily. Love is not possessive ~ I have my dignity as well. I can’t be so cheap to keep telling a man how I feel for him….

Que sera, sera… No question asked, this is the trust he demands. I trusted a man once & all I received was a  broken heart. So, I don’t want to know how exactly he’s doing now since he has no interest to inform me. I don’t want to know. Sometimes the truth hurts. So I don’t want to know. No, thank you.

So friends who have been wondering of my whereabouts, I’m still breathing ya…. Not so much of kicking around though, very tired, physically, mentally & emotionally….. Missing my bed now…. (Yeah, it’s the AV period again…. Haiz!)

At 5.30am this morning, I looked up at the dark cloudy sky from balcony, feeling the earth moving under my feet. I prayed. Cold breeze was blowing on my face….. love it! Suddenly my cellphone chirped. I was hoping it was from “him” but instead it was from Pat, our client cum bro in Christ. A mixed feeling of disappointment & appreciation.

When “he” asked me how would I endure on “his” disappearance? I was thinking…. maybe this was “his” courteous way of saying goodbye forever?? “He” said I don’t care where he is, I do, but I’m more hurt when he didn’t even knock at my door even when he was just outside? Remember Matthew 7:7??

Well, no one likes to make false assumption but seriously I don’t earn any benefit of doubts from “him”. I believe “he’s” in the good hands of God or someone. I don’t want a body without a soul. I don’t need “his” physical presence if I can’t win “his” affection.

As long as “he’s” happy with “his” life, my life means nothing to “him”, why would I allow myself to be fooled again? Don’t be silly! I won’t bang my head on the wall again…

When Dan asked me this afternoon if I had told anyone of his whereabouts, I lied. I’ve learnt this surviving skill ~ “buat bodoh” (acting innocent) from him & Fred. So much to learn from men ~ to tackle them is to think like them, be like them!

After months of chasing, one of our KL supplier’s representative, Karen, has finally managed to recover from Dan’s long overdue owing to them. Unfortunately, Mr & Mrs Teng, our agitated clients, were not as lucky as her. They didn’t get hold of him.

I’m not sure if he believes me but I do not feel guilty at all for lying to him. I suggested to Fred earlier to confront him personally but he refused. Not sure what his actual reasons are but the urge was just too great for me not to do “anything” when I’m the one being “threatened” as the legal boss! What a shame! Hate this name ~ towkay nio! 老扳娘? Yucks! It’s really no fun being a boss! Pressured! Sigh…

Mommy dearest, I’m so sorry to have let you worry. Cher & I were too excited about watching internet dramas in our room. My cellphone was in my handbag on the bench outside ~ didn’t hear it ringing! I switched off Cher’s earlier in the room to kill the “wave”. Mom wanted to call & tell us she has found the book at her place which Cher borrowed from the club’s library. It’s about time for her to return it. Nothing big deal in fact.

When she couldn’t reach us through our cellphones, she came “breaking-in” to my apartment with the spare keys. Dad was angry of my usual negligence instead of worried. He believed nothing could have gone wrong with both of us, mother & daughter, in our own apartment. Either he has faith in me to take great care of ourselves or he just couldn’t be bothered!

Mom wouldn’t have rested in peace tonight if she didn’t drop by to check on us! Luckily it’s only about 5 mins drive away.

I kept apologizing to her & thanked her for her concerns to drop by & check on our safety. I told her I did not expect anyone would have called me at this hour anymore, that was why I couldn’t hear the cellphones ringing....

See the difference between a dad & a mom?? Don’t get me wrong, I love dad too but our ways of communication seems to have started wrongly from the beginning. It’s okay, never too late to start anew. I know deep down, he loves all of us the same but he has problems expressing himself in “nice” ways. I’m determined to change myself towards communicating with him now as it’s a lot easier to change ourselves than to change others.

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On this 100th day since grandma has left us, this was our first reunion. Of course, not everyone was present but it was joyful day. As if grandma was amongst us….

Uncle Matt woke up at 3am last night. He claimed that to be the tea’s fault which he drank earlier. Ever since grandma passed away, the Indonesian maid was sent home, he’s left all alone in that house. A humble 3-bedroom turned 2-bedroom terrace intermediate single-storey house~a little too big for him alone now. At 63 years old, no wife, no children, only a pet fish and cable TV are currently his only companions.

I know it’s not easy for him. When grandma was around, if he didn’t see her awake before him every morning, he would check on the sleeping beauty if she was still breathing. It has become a morning ritual for him. When he went home late after appointments, grandma would nag at him like he was a rebellious youngster who stays out late. Now…..the house is so deadly silent when he reaches home. This is why when dad or mom scolds me for some mistakes I do, I’m able to enjoy it! And this saves a lot on unnecessary troubles too.

I can understand why uncle Matt’s planning to move out from that house & live in a small apartment. I can understand how his dinner tastes like when he has to cook & eat alone. I can understand how much he misses grandma. I can understand how hard he’s trying to adapt himself living alone now. Uncle Matt is one of my favorite uncles among 10 other siblings. No doubt he would never want to impose on anyone, I wish I could do something for him when he needs help later.

A client of ours, Mr Tan, whom we have delayed to deliver our work for him since the past 5 months texted me as early as 5:37am this morning. He’s our sub-con’s contact. I have only seen him thrice in my whole life so far at our showroom. His image has even become indistinct in my mind. All I could remember is he likes Cher very much when he saw her at our showroom last time. He claimed that he loves children, even though he has children of his own. I’m a little doubtful about his behavior. Maybe I’m a little too sensitive because he’s one of our most “patient” clients with our delayed work.

He told me not to be alerted with his extremely early text in the morning, he just happened to wake up early & thought about us. I replied courteously & quickly changed subject to business in my reply to him. He said I was “cute” to talk about business this early. I just don’t want to be too personal with a client, especially a married man. (Well, I assume he’s married since he has children of his own, even though I have not seen his wife before) Funny guy!

After we ended with 3 texts to each other, I somehow thought of “him”. I wondered & texted him: Have I ever come into your mind 1st thing in the morning?

There was no reply.

What does it mean when someone only thinks of us in the wee hours at night?? Correct me if my assumption is wrong: this is not love, it’s loneliness..

Dan told us the color of Mrs Teng’s door panels are not available since CNY. It’s either she is willing to pay extra to change all the door panels to another color or waits till the required color is available.

Foolish enough of him to test our patience. I called up the supplier in K.L. (which I should have done so earlier) & found out that all this while, the required color is available. Karen, the sales lady who’s been liaising with his procurement related to me that he has cheated them of their goods. They demanded him to fully settle all the outstanding amount (more than RM6K) owing to them before they proceed with his new orders. He faxed them the bank-in slip as a proof of his payment for them to release his orders. Once he was secured that the goods were on the way in the shipment, he called up his bank to stop the payment.

This is the man with an atrophied leg due to poliomyelitis (no more sympathy from us). A man whom I have been working with for the past 6 years (this is not the first time I exposed him of his despicable plots of cheating $). A man whose wife currently works as a food vendor in a wet market to help financing their family of 3 young children, a couple of dogs, a corner-terraced double storey house & 2 cars (I can feel how tiring she must be, physically & mentally). A man who “used” to go for daily mass & prays often with a big cross in his office (hypocrite!). A man who has resolved to work for his brother-in-law to clear off his loan from him for saving him from bankruptcy which was served by a local bank in a newspaper (Proven God is forgiving & answered his prayers??).

I confronted him for an explanation via text since we hardly see each other anymore in the office. He finally admitted that he doesn’t have fund to rectify the current situation. Ironically, the truth speaks for itself. A man should not have $ in his pocket! (He bought a new laptop & traveled to K.L. twice recently, once with the whole family to pay their last respect to his wife's younger brother who died of cancer).

I hope this time Fred, my cousin, our mastermind cum consultant, my beneficiary (as in our agreement between he & I) since he has transferred this company to me since last August, has finally seen his long time business partner cum good friend’s true colors after losing so much $ venturing with him in this business for more than a decade. Dan is still trying his luck for $ injection from Fred. Our main concern is to complete all the existing projects as soon as possible, especially when Mrs Teng threatened to sue us, which means legally I would be the one being sued. So, Fred gave in to his idea. We are getting Dan to list out all the procurement now to complete all the projects ~ not many, 6 only. Yet, I'm very perplexed of how long more this bugger would take to come out with the list.

At least I have picked up the courage to “verbally” resigned from Fred (better save my own *ss before he drags me along with him into deep sh*t) & once all these projects are done, I want to wind up this business & leave in peace (no doubt Fred is still trying hard to retain it). Wishing myself all the best!

God really has His mysterious ways of dealing with men. It was really hot in the middle of the night last night around 2a.m. something. I woke up to switch on the air-conditioner. Then I heard the chirping of my cellphone outside my bedroom inside my handbag on the bench, since I do not want to sleep with the negative ions. I knew it was from him.

He told me he was going to kill himself. I was afraid to be the murderer so I coaxed & soothed him to calm down. It was my fault to push him too hard by backing off, in order for him to seriously consider in proposing to his lady friend.

Apparently, he got upset with me and now he’s banishing himself from all romances to another country, faraway land. I guess, out of sight, out of mind? May he find the peace within himself.