女人入洞房那天，早早收起了自己的鞋，等男人脫鞋上床 ，女人卻雙腳踩在男人的鞋上。男人見了，嘿嘿笑著說：「想不到妳還挺迷信的。」
女人卻認真地說：「我媽媽說了，踩了男人的鞋，一輩子不受男人的氣。」
男人說：「我媽媽也說了，女人踩了男人的鞋，那是一輩子要跟著男 人吃苦受罪的。」
女人開始試探著管男人，先從生活小事兒開始，支使男人倒垃圾掃地 拖地，男人全了。
女人說種什麼，男人就種什麼。左鄰右舍女人說跟誰走近點 、跟誰走遠點，男人全聽女人的。
男人正跟人閒聊天，女人一聲喊，男人像被牽了鼻子的牛，乖乖就回去了。
男人正跟人喝酒，女人上前只扯一下耳朵，就被拽進家。
有人激男人：「這女人三天不打，她就上房揭瓦。你也算個男人 ，怎能讓女人管得沒有一點男人的氣概？若是我的女人，非扁她兩下不可。」
男人不急不慌地說：「把你的女人叫來，我也捨得扁她兩下。」
那人急了：「你聽不懂我的話！上輩子老和尚托生的沒見過女人！真不像你爸的種，怕老婆！」
村裡有大事商量，男人一出場，人們就說：「這商量大事你也做不了主，還是把你家女人請來吧！」男人還真把女人叫來了。
女人能管住男人覺得很得意，直到有一天女人在男人耳邊說起了婆婆的不是。
男人紅了眼，一聲吼：「想知道我為什麼不打妳嗎？就因為我媽媽。我媽媽一輩子不容易，我爸爸脾性暴躁，稍有不順心，張口就罵、舉手就打，我爸爸打斷過胳膊粗的棍子，打散過椅子。我媽媽為了我們幾個孩子，竟熬了一輩子。每次見媽媽挨打，我都發誓，我娶了女人決不捅她一根手指頭。不是我怕妳，是我忘不了我老媽媽說的話，她說：「女人是被男人疼 的，不是被男人打的。」
女人驚呆了，她沒想到男人的胸懷竟這樣寬廣。
現在男人在外與人喝酒打屁聊天，女人不喊也不再拽耳朵，有時還會端碗水遞給男人。
有人問男人，怎麼調教出來的？
男人卻一本正經地說：「打出來的女人嘴服，疼出來的女人心服。」
男士讀，女士看，讀出的是感悟，看出的是感動，其實樸實的背後是無限的真情！
看完了，你從中領悟到了那個樸實的道理了嗎？

When it comes to making the decision about choosing a life partner, no one wants to make a mistake. Yet, with a divorce rate of close to 50%, it appears that many are making serious mistakes in their approach to finding Mr./Miss. Right!

If you ask most couples who are engaged why they're getting married, they'll say: 'We're in love'; I believe this is the ..1 mistake people make when they date. Choosing a life partner should never be based on love. Though this may sound 'not politically correct', there's a profound truth here.

Love is not the basis for getting married. Rather, love is the result of a good marriage. When the other ingredients are right, then the love will come. Let me say it again: 'You can't build a lifetime relationship on love alone'; You need a lot more!!!

Here are five questions you must ask yourself if you're serious about finding and keeping a life partner.

QUESTION 1: Do we share a common life purpose?

Why is this so important? Let me put it this way: If you're married for 20 or 30 years, that's a long time to live with someone. What do you plan to do with each other all that time? Travel, eat and jog together? You need to share something deeper and more meaningful. You need a common life purpose.

Two things can happen in a marriage: (1) You can grow together, or (2)you can grow apart. 50% of the people out there are growing apart. To make a marriage work, you need to know what you want out of life! Bottom line; marry someone who wants the same thing.

QUESTION 2: Do I feel safe expressing my feelings and thoughts with this person?

This question goes to the core of the quality of your relationship. Feeling safe means you can communicate openly with this person. The basis of having good communication is trust i.e.. trust that I won't get 'punished'; or hurt for expressing my honest thoughts and feelings.
A colleague of mine defines an abusive person as someone with whom you feel afraid to express your thoughts and feelings. Be honest with yourself on this one. Make sure you feel emotionally safe with the person you plan to marry.

QUESTION 3: Is he/she a mensch?

A mensch is someone who is a refined and sensitive person. How can you test? Here are some suggestions. Do they work on personal growth on a regular basis? Are they serious about improving themselves? A teacher of mine defines a good person as 'someone who is always striving to be good and do the right'. So ask about your significant other: What do they do with their time? Is this person materialistic? Usually a materialistic person is not someone whose top priority is character refinement.

There are essentially two types of people in the world: (1) People who are dedicated to personal growth and (2) people who are dedicated to seeking comfort. Someone whose goal in life is to be comfortable will put personal comfort ahead of doing the right thing. You need to know that before walking down the aisle.

QUESTION 4: How does he/she treat other people?

The one most important thing that makes any relationship work is the ability to give. By giving, we mean the ability to give another person pleasure.

Ask: Is this someone who enjoys giving pleasure to others or are they wrapped up in themselves and self-absorbed? To measure this, think about the following: How do they treat people whom they do not have to be nice to, such as waiters, bus boys, taxi drivers, etc.. How do they treat their parents and siblings? Do they have gratitude and appreciation?

If they don't have gratitude for the people who have given them everything; can you do nearly as much for them? You can be sure that someone, who treats others poorly, will eventually treat you poorly as well.

QUESTION 5: Is there anything I'm hoping to change about this person after we're married?

Too many people make the mistake of marrying someone with the intention of trying to 'improve'; them after they're married. As a colleague of mine puts it: 'You can probably expect someone to change after marriage for the worse' If you cannot fully accept this person the way they are now, then you are not ready to marry them.

In conclusion, dating doesn't have to be difficult and treacherous. The key is to try leading a little more with your head and less with your heart. It pays to be as objective as possible when you are dating; to be sure to ask questions that will help you get to the key issues. Falling in love is a great feeling, but when you wake up with a ring on your finger, you don't want to find yourself trouble because you didn't do your homework.

Another perspective... There are some people in your life that need to be loved from a distance.. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you let go of or at least minimize your time with draining, negative, incompatible, not going anywhere relationships. Observe the relationships around you.

Pay attention...

Which ones lift and which ones lean?
Which ones encourage and which ones discourage?
Which ones are on a path of growth uphill and which ones are going downhill?
When you leave certain people do you feel better or feel worse?
Which ones don’t appreciate you?
Which ones make you feel good, praises you, boosts you with loving and caring words or annotations.

The more you seek quality, respect, growth, peace of mind, love and truth around you...the easier it will become for you to decide who gets to sit in the front row and who should be moved to the balcony of your life.

An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye'; Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-'esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really that important.

Do you bring out the best in each other?
Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare and control?
What do you bring to the relationship?
Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?
You can't take someone to the altar to alter them. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay.
If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life'; you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Seeking status, sex, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

WHAT KEEPS A RELATIONSHIP STRONG IS:
1.  TRUST
2.  COMMUNICATION
3.  INTIMACY
4.  A SENSE OF HUMOR
5.  SHARING TASKS
6.  DAILY EXCHANGES (meal, shared activity, hug, call, touch, notes,etc.)
7.  SHARING COMMON GOALS AND INTERESTS
8.  GIVING EACH OTHER SPACE TO GROW WITHOUT FEELING INSECURE
9.  GIVING EACH OTHER A SENSE OF BELONGING AND ASSURANCES OF COMMITMENT
10.CONCERN AND CARE FOR YOUR LOVER IN YOUR OWN WAYS.

If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment withdrawal, abuse, neglect, and dishonesty; and pain will replace.