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YEH YEH KITA MENANG!Dear Friends,
Read the 'Voice of Raja Petra Kamaruddin" below and make sure you resend to everybody you ever now.
Save democracy and save Malaysia. Let us be the torch and sustain the heat for the better future.
By Raja Petra Kamaruddin,
Yeh, yeh, kita menang!
Kita menang when the government decided to ask all Malaysian ISPs to block Malaysia Today. The government has finally admitted it has lost the internet war, a war which started way back in 1998 on the birth of the Reformasi movement.
The first government clampdown was more than seven years ago -- on Hari Raya Haji of March 2001 -- when the police arrested me, raided my house, and confiscated my computer. In that incident, Bakri Zinin, the CID Director, beat me up in the police station in front of more than twenty witnesses, one of them my wife. Cikgu Bard, PKR's candidate for Rembau in the recent general election (versus Khairy Jamaluddin), was also there. In fact, Cikgu Bard was handcuffed to me -- his left hand attached to my right hand. They then detained me, my wife, Cikgu Bard -- plus five others -- overnight in the police lockup. The following month, I was detained for two months, also for what I wrote on the internet. Since then, over the last seven years, the police have raided my house five times -- the latest was last Thursday -- and they confiscated my computers and other stuff each time. I was called in to the police station for interrogation (they call it 'to record your statement') a half dozen times or so and I currently face four charges as well. Over the next week or so I will again have to report to the police headquarters at Bukit Aman for my 'statement to be recorded'. I am waiting for them to phone me, which will be over the next few days. On Monday, the eve of the Permatang Pauh by-election, Malaysia Today saw three times the normal traffic. We anticipated this and beefed up our resources to be able to cater for this heavier traffic. This high traffic continued till Polling Day the following day. Malaysia Today was supposed to flash the early election results from around 6.00pm, ahead of the mainstream media. But, as the results came in, and just before Malaysia Today could flash them, the government blocked access to Malaysia Today. Why did they do this? Simple, they wanted to make sure that the results remained a 'secret' in case it was a close-finish. Assuming Anwar Ibrahim's majority was very narrow then they would not want anyone knowing about it until they decide what to do. If Anwar won by a mere few hundred votes then something could be done to 'modify' the final results. But this would be difficult to pull off if the results have already been flashed on Malaysia Today. Nevertheless, Anwar won two out of three votes casted (66.6%), so the margin was just too wide to manipulate -- so it did not really matter anyway. But if it were a mere few hundred-vote majority then it would certainly have mattered. For example, they could have suddenly 'discovered' missing ballot boxes not yet counted -- as has sometimes happened in the past like when they turned Najib's 1,800-vote loss into a 200-vote win by 'injecting' an additional 2,000 'postal votes' that suddenly and mysteriously surfaced. Kita menang when they decided to block Malaysia Today on the day of Anwar's historic win in Permatang Pauh. It is very difficult for the opposition to win a by-election. Even if, by any chance, the opposition does win the by-election, never can that win be greater than the general election before that. This time, however, Anwar not only won, but he won with a greater majority than in the general election before that. And that is the greatest win of all. A win not only for the people of Permatang Pauh but for all Malaysians. Because the message sent to the government is very precise: the people no longer want Umno or Barisan Nasional. Yes, kita menang. It is not just the Permatang Pauh voters or Anwar Ibrahim who menang. It is we, the people, who menang. So kita yang menang. Kita menang because the Permatang Pauh by-election result is not only about Permatang Pauh, but also about the 8 March 2008 Tsunami. They say that 8 March 2008 was a flash-in-the-pan. They say it was something that came and went and can never be repeated. But the Permatang Pauh by-election proved that the 8 March 2008 Tsunami is still very much alive and has not fizzled out. The message to the government is the people still want you out. Kita menang because they say that only the Chinese and Indians are with the opposition while the Malays are with Umno and Barisan Nasional. No doubt half the voters voted opposition on 8 March 2008 but then only 49% of the Malays did so. Even then, they say, the Malays voted opposition more out of protest and not because they support the opposition. But the Malays now regret voting opposition because they did not think that five states would fall to the opposition and that Barisan Nasional would lose its two-thirds majority in Parliament, they say. If the elections were held again, the Malays would swing back to Umno and Barisan Nasional, they say. Sure, the Malays voted opposition on 8 March 2008. But they did so just to send a message to Umno and Barisan Nasional and now that this message has been delivered there is no longer any reason to continue voting opposition. But the Permatang Pauh by-election proved them wrong. There are 69% Malay voters in Permatang Pauh, only 31% Chinese, Indians and Thais. If the Malays had swung back to Umno, leaving only the non-Malays to vote opposition, then Anwar would not have won 66.6% or two out of every three of the votes. It needed a Malay swing to achieve this. So, kita menang. The Malays did not swing back to Umno and Barisan Nasional. The 8 March 2008 Tsunami has not fizzled out. They now need to block Malaysia Today because they acknowledge that the internet has done a lot of damage to Umno and Barisan Nasional. Umno and Barisan Nasional have admitted they have lost the internet war and the only way they can stop Malaysia Today is to block it. Yeh, yeh, kita menang! Umno and Barisan Nasional dah kalah! Malaysia Today may be 'dead'. But the son of Malaysia Today is not dead. It is alive. It is not only alive but it is also fucking mad. And the son of Malaysia Today is going to continue the fight just as Malaysia Today continued the fight on 13 August 2004, which was started by the Reformasi movement in September 1998. Raja Petra Kamarudin no longer owns Malaysia Today. Raja Petra may have started the original Malaysia Today. But he does not own it any more. Malaysia Today has been replaced by the son of Malaysia Today. And the son of Malaysia Today is owned by the people of Malaysia. The people of Malaysia are keeping the son of Malaysia Today going. It is now called MT Harapan Malaysia and you can access it at mt.harapanmalaysia.com . Spread this message far and wide. Tell all your friends and family that Malaysia Today has died. It died at 6.00pm on 26 August 2008, the time and day that Anwar Ibrahim won the Permatang Pauh by-election with historic results and which has now triggered his march to Putrajaya. But also tell your friends and family that the son of Malaysia Today has taken over the fight of its father. And this son is called mt.harapanmalaysia.com. Also tell them that the fight is going to get fiercer. The son wants to avenge the death of its father. And don't forget to also gloat to your friends and family: yeh, yeh, kita menang! Ooh, does this cigar taste good! A GENIUS SAYS GOOD BYE FOR GOODGabriel Garcia Marquez, famous writer from Colombia, and Nobel Peace prize winner for literature, has retired from public life for reasons of health. He has a form of cancer which is terminal. He has sent a farewell letter to his friends.
It is recommended reading because it is moving to see how one of the best and most brilliant of writers expresses himself & with sorrow. He says: If God, for a second, forgot what I have become and granted me a little bit more of life, I would use it to the best of my ability. I wouldn't, possibly, say everything that is in my mind, but I would be more thoughtful of all I say.
I would give merit to things not for what they are worth, but for what they mean to express.
I would sleep little, I would dream more, because I know that for every minute that we close our eyes, we waste 60 seconds of light.
I would walk while others stop; I would awake while others sleep. If God would give me a little bit more of life, I would dress in a simple manner, I would place myself in front of the sun, leaving not only my body, but my soul naked at its mercy.
To all men I would say how mistaken they are when they think that they stop falling in love when they grow old, without knowing that they grow old when they stop falling in love.
I would give wings to children, but I would leave it to them to learn how to fly by themselves.
To old people I would say that death doesn't arrive when they grow old, but with forgetfulness.
I have learned so much with you all, I have learned that everybody wants to live on top of the mountain, without knowing that true happiness is obtained in the journey taken & the form used to reach the top of the hill.
I have learned that when a newborn baby holds, with its little hand, his father's finger, it has trapped him for the rest of his life.
I have learned that a man has the right and obligation to look down at another man, only when that man needs help to get up from the ground.
Say always what you feel, not what you think. If I knew that today is the last time that I am going to see you asleep, I would hug you with all my strength and I would pray to the Lord to let me be the guardian angel of your soul.
If I knew that these are the last moments to see you, I would say 'I love you'.
There is always tomorrow, and life gives us another opportunity to do things right, but in case I am wrong, and today is all that is left to me, I would love to tell you how much I love you & that I will never forget you.
Tomorrow is never guaranteed to anyone, young or old. Today could be the last time to see your loved ones, which is why you mustn't wait; do it today, in case tomorrow never arrives. I am sure you will be sorry you wasted the opportunity today to give a smile, a hug, a kiss, and that you were too busy to grant them their last wish.
Keep your loved ones near you; tell them in their ears and to their faces how much you need them and love them. Love them and treat them well; take your time to tell them 'I am sorry', 'forgive me', 'please', 'thank you', and all those loving words you know.
Nobody will know you for your secret thought. Ask the Lord for wisdom and strength to express them.
Show your friends and loved ones how important they are to you. Send this letter to those you love. If you don't do it today...tomorrow will be like yesterday, and if you never do it, it doesn't matter, either, the moment to do it is now.
For you, With much love, Your Friend, Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
WASTING FOODWe had our lunch at a shopping mall today where I did some banking transactions at the banks. I hate wasting food & seeing other people piling up so much food in their plates but not finishing it, especially from buffer. But it was my fault today for not telling the waitress clearly of my orders. So I ended up eating more than I should be eating today.  OH JIM CARREY!!Joker!! Jim Carrey really tickled me today!! I don't mind a boyfriend like him!! Hahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Jim Carrey looks pretty darn good in a black one-piece, don't ya think? The comedian borrows a suit from girlfriend Jenny McCarthy while strolling in Malibu, Calif., on the Fourth of July. SWEET CHILD O' MINEGreat song from Guns & Roses. A song which woke Cher up for the first time by herself this morning. Her dad bought her a mobile & it has this song -- Sheryl Crow's version -- in it (not sure if he downloaded the song & does the song mean anything to him?) I started to like the song too when Cher keeps playing it. Then it popped into my mind last night why don't we set the song as her alarm ringtone to encourage her to wake up by herself? And yeah! We were both delighted by this milestone we took together & I hope I won't have to give her wake-up call anymore! SWEET CHILD O' MINE by Guns & Roses She's got a smile that it seems to me Reminds me of childhood memories Where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky Now and then when I see her face It takes me away to that special place And if I stared too long I'd probably break down and cry Sweet child o' mine Sweet love of mine She's got eyes of the bluest skies And if they thought of rain I hate to look into those eyes And see an ounce of pain Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place Where as a child I'd hide And pray for the thunder And the rain To quietly pass me by Sweet child o' mine Sweet love of mine Where do we go? Where do we go now? Where do we go? Sweet child o' mine Click here to hear the song MY BOOBOO THOUGHTI slipped & fell, almost into the drain yesterday. So embarrassing, attracted many headturns & "oooohhhs"-- Mamak shops area!! I got up & laughed at myself, dashing myself to be out of sight. Having a Snoopy plaster over my booboo now on the side of my right toe. No heels for the next few days. Only sandals. Thank God I can still drive (yeah, even a manual gear). When I was seated in my office, I saw a text on my mobile. Surprisingly, after so long, he still keeps my number! But instantly, I have this booboo thought. Was my fall a curse from him? Is he back for a revenge?? I sabotaged him once, a cruel one. I still think it was the best thing I could do. I'm glad I didn't get further involved in their marriage. Let the others do the damaging since a leopard never changes its spots or a tiger never changes its stripes. Hah! Anyway, I'm glad he's back in "my friends" list (fingers crossed). But this time, we are very careful!! CRABBY OLD WOMAN (POEM)When an old lady died in the geriatric ward of a small hospital near Dundee, Scotland , it was believed that she had nothing left of any value. Later, when the nurses were going through her meagre possessions, they found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital. One nurse took her copy to Ireland. The old lady's sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas edition of the News Magazine of the North Ireland Association for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on her simple, but eloquent, poem. And this little old Scottish lady, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this 'anonymous' poem winging across the Internet: Crabby Old Woman What do you see, nurses...... ......... .What do you see? What are you thinking.... ..When you're looking at me? A crabby old woman....... ......... ......... .Not very wise, Uncertain of habit,...... ......... .......With faraway eyes? Who dribbles her food ............ ... And makes no reply. When you say in a loud voice....... 'I do wish you'd try!' Who seems not to notice ..........The things that you do, And forever is losing ............ ......... A stocking or shoe? Who, resisting or not, ............ .. Lets you do as you will, With bathing and feeding, ............ .. The long day to fill? Is that what you're thinking?... ...... Is that what you see? Then open your eyes, nurse,.....You' re not looking at me. I'll tell you who I am ............ ......... ..As I sit here so still, As I do at your bidding, ............ ....... As I eat at your will. I'm a small child of ten......... .....With a father and mother, Brothers and sisters..... ......... ......... Who love one another. A young girl of sixteen ............ .......With wings on her feet Dreaming that soon now ............ ......... A lover she'll meet. A bride soon at twenty, ............ ....... My heart gives a leap, Remembering the vows ............ ... That I promised to keep. At twenty-five now,........ ......... .... I have young of my own, Who need me to guide ............ ... And a secure happy home. A woman of thirty,..... ......... ...... My young now grown fast, Bound to each other....... ......... ..... With ties that should last. At forty, my young sons........ ......Have grown and are gone, But my man's beside me.......... ......... ..To see I don't mourn At fifty once more,....... ......... ...Babies play round my knee, Again we know children,... ......... ....... My loved one and me. Dark days are upon me,......... ......... .....My husband is dead, I look at the future,..... ......... ......... ......I shudder with dread. For my young are all rearing ............ .....Young of their own, And I think of the years....... ... And the love that I've known. I'm now an old woman....... ......... ......... And nature is cruel; Tis jest to make old age ............ ......... ........ Look like a fool. The body, it crumbles,... ......... ......... Grace and vigor depart, There is now a stone....... ......... .... Where I once had a heart. But inside this old carcass..... ......... .. A young girl still dwells, And now and again,...... ......... ....... My battered heart swells. I remember the joys,....... ......... ......... . I remember the pain, And I'm loving and living...... ......... ......... ...... Life over again. I think of the years....... ......... ..... All too few, gone too fast, And accept the stark fact........ ......... .....That nothing can last. So open your eyes, people,..... ......... ......... ......Open and see, Not a crabby old woman;...... ....Look closer...... see,..... ME!! Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within.....we will all, one day, be there, too! ATTITUDE
As they sat and watched the people come and go, a tall man who surely had to be a tourist -- since they knew everyone in the town -- began looking around as if he were checking out the area for a place to live.
The stranger walked up and asked, "So what kind of town is this that we're in?"
The older gentleman slowly turned to the man and repied "Well, what kind of town are you from?"
The tourist said, "In the town I'm from everyone is very critical of each other. The neighbors all gossip about everyone, and it's a real negative place to live. I'm sure glad to be leaving. It is not a very cheerful place."
The man in the chair looked at the stranger and said, "You know, that's just how this town is."
An hour or so later a family that was also passing through stopped for gas. The car slowly turned in and rolled to a stop in front of where the older gentleman and his granddaughter were sitting. The mother jumped out with two small children and asked where the restrooms were. The man in the chair pointed to a small, bent-up sign that was barely hanging by one nail on the side of the door.
The father stepped out of the car and also asked the man, "Is this town a pretty good place to live?"
The older man replied, "What about the town you are from? How is it?"
The father looked at him and said, "Well, in the town I'm from, everyone is very close and always willing to lend their neighbor a helping hand. There's always a hello and thank you everywhere you go. I really hate to leave. I feel almost like we are leaving family."
The older gentleman turned to the father and gave him a warm smile, "You know, that's a lot like this small town."
Then the family returned to the car, said their thank yous, waved goodbye and drove away.
After the family was in the distance, the granddaughter looked up at her grandfather and asked, "Grandpa, how come when the first man came into our town you told him it was a terrible place to live and when the family came in to town you told them it was a wonderful place to live?"
The grandfather lovingly looked down at this granddaughter's wondering blue eyes and said, "No matter where you move, you take your own attitude with you and that's what makes it terrible or wonderful."
It's our attitude, not our aptitude that determines our altitude. Happiness is not something we find, it's something we create. HOUSEWIVESWHAT TEACHERS SHOULD NOT DO"Is staying at home with kids or working out there earning a living more important?" Cher asked me last night because her teacher told them that if possible, it's more meaningful for moms to stay at home & guide their children. Parents' guidance are vital for children during early childhood but at their elementary age (6 to 11 years old), I think teachers should not tamper their growth towards independency. If they can't teach the children to be ambitious & some survival skills, at least do their parts to improve their knowledge. And to those housewives, be thankful to your breadwinners & treasure your time at home with your children. TAMING OUR HOT TEMPERTemper takes many forms. The form of temper we now adopt as adults depends very much on what was successfully applied on us as children. For example, if the significant adults had used temper to control us successfully, we now use temper to try to control others. Since we had focused on the injustice of the temper so much, we unconsciously imbibe the very behavior we hated.
Temper can be obvious or it can be subtle. Temper manifests itself in some of the following ways: a) explosion----we rage, we use anger to lash out at others and intimidate them. b) implosion----we give the silent treatment, we sulk, we turn it inward and beat ourselves up. c) irritation---we have little tolerance, we are out of control. d) repetition---we nag constantly, we are stuck in the same angry groove. It is best to avoid all forms of anger because if we give anger an inch, it will take a mile. So don't let anger get a foothold in our hearts. For once anger gets into our hearts, it is hard to uproot. And if we let the sun go down on our anger, our hearts will harden into resentment and bitterness.
We are the only one who can make ourselves angry. We choose how we respond to the event that upset us. The meaning we give to the event will determine whether we become angry or not. What we tell ourselves makes us angry. How? By telling ourselves that we have been taken undue advantage of, that we have been unfairly treated, abused, bullied, humiliated, browbeaten, intimidated, coerced or mercilessly whacked for minor mistakes or by recounting to ourselves all the perceived wrongs that have been done to us in the past. It is vital that we watch our thoughts as we can temporarily stop our anger when we change our thoughts or change what we tell ourselves. Yet, why do we often become more and more angry? Because we refuse to change our angry thoughts or we choose to churn over and over in our minds what we keep telling ourselves. And what we tell ourselves keep us locked in our anger prison.Often, we become angry because we don't get our ways. We have not learnt the art of allowing, tolerating, accommodating and accepting differences in views, values, mannerisms and perspectives.
Sometimes we become angry because current word or event triggers off some childhood abuse, fear or anxiety. But, the ultimate objective of all forms of anger is to try to control the behavior of the other person. We use anger to intimidate, manipulate and subdue the other person.
Anger becomes most dangerous when it hardens our hearts and makes us so self-righteous that we cannot see our fault. What we cannot see, in ourselves, we cannot change. When we refuse to apologize for our anger we imprison ourselves in our own self-righteousness. We stand on our pride. We harden our heart. But when we start to say "I am sorry," we begin to unburden our heart and release ourselves from our own imprisonment. Somehow the chain is removed. The shackle is broken. Sure some will take advantage of our apology but the heavy burden of being locked up in our own anger is lightened. Apology unlocks our heart for the reconciliation to begin.
Easy to talk, but, how do we tame our hot temper? You may like to research into your respective religious faith in Bahai, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, Jains, Judaism, Sikhism, Taoism, Zoroastrianism, etc, for help. (For Atheists, self-help is possible through positive thinking & spiritual study.) If people can easily trigger us into temper, sulking, impatience, or nagging then we have to admit that "I am out of control with my temper." When we use temper so readily it becomes a form of emotional abuse. It also means that we are unable to discipline ourselves. We have lost self-control. We have not learnt to separate the important from the little things. We have not learnt to let the small stuff go. Yes, we can find thousands of reasons why we are so easily provoked into uncontrollable anger and hold on to the anger right into the night. But, unless we recognize and admit that we have trouble with our hot temper, we will never start to tame our temper. As St James has advised, "Are any among you in trouble? They should pray." (James 5:13 TEV)
2) Pray and Ask Jesus (or your God) for help When we pray to God, we will hear that "He speaks to us in our affliction" (Job 36:15 NIV), provided we be still and quietly listen. Jesus says, "Ask and it will be given to you" (Matthew 7:7 NJB) and often, "It is because you do not pray that you do not receive; when you do pray and do not receive, it is because you prayed wrongly, wanting to indulge your passions." (James 4:2-3 NJB) Therefore, pray to God to repent and to motivate us to restrain our temper. We will succeed and we will fail also. But, we tame our temper one incident at a time. We are always tempted to give up trying as restraining our temper can take a very long time to succeed. But God will strengthen us to control our temper if we will pray for the Holy Spirit as the Helper, Counselor and Comforter to come to our aid. Jesus teaches that we "need to pray continually and never lose heart" (Luke 18:1 NJB). Prayer is the magical aid when we feel like giving up. Daily prayer will sustain, strengthen and encourage us not to give up. Furthermore, we must admit that, often, our hot temper arises from nothing more than our resentment. Where there is resentment, there is a hardening of the heart and there is no forgiveness in our hearts. But, we must not forget that, "if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive the wrongs you have done." (Matthew 6:15 TEV) So it is very important for us to repent and ask Jesus to help us to forgive. A forgiven person forgives, so it is vital that we learn to forgive ourselves also.
One practical way of forgiving is to pray for the one who hurts us, who causes us pain, or even harm. Jesus advises us to, "pray for those who mistreat you" (Luke 6:28 TEV) and "pray for those who persecute you" (Matthew 5:44 NJB).
3) Stop before the temper gets ugly Anger is a choice. It is a choice to stop a disagreement before it gets ugly. It is a choice to stop and pray because we can sense the anger starting to boil inside and that our hearts are beginning to harden. If we want to control our anger, we should, "be quick to listen but slow to speak and slow to human anger" (James 1:19 NJB). The earlier we agree, the easier it is to stop the quarrel and the anger from developing. As Solomon says, "The start of an argument is like the first break in a dam; stop it before it goes any further." (Proverbs 17:14 TEV), "Any fool can start arguments;"(Proverbs 20:3 TEV) and "The fool blurts out every angry feeling, but the wise subdues and restrains them."(Proverbs 29:11 NJB) Jesus advises us "Come to terms with your opponent in good time while you are still on the way to the court with him" (Matthew 5:25 NJB).
4) Seek Counseling If we still find that we unable to tame our temper, it may be time to consider seeking, confessing or asking mature Christians or our priests to counsel us. Why do we need our priests to get involved at this time? Because what we have been doing is not working and we need some outside help. What is needed is the objective counsel of a third party who will minister the Word of God. We need mature guides to show us the way. The Bible tells us, "Where there is no counsel, the people fall" (Proverbs 11:14 NKJV), "Get good advice and you will succeed" (Proverbs 20:18 TEV) and "Get all the advice you can, and you will succeed; without it you will fail." (Proverbs 15:22 TEV) So, in order to succeed in taming our temper, we may need the counsel of mature Christians, our priests or appropriate religious writings.
5) Pray to Jesus again and again To have some success, we have to go to Jesus again and again for help. Sincerely repent our sins of anger. Pray to Jesus to soften our hearts. Daily, pray for forgiveness as we learn to forgive others---"'Lord, if my brother keeps on sinning against me, how many times do I have to forgive him? Seven times?' 'No, not seven times,' answered Jesus, 'but seventy times seven'" (Matthew 18:21-22 TEV)---and choose to take active steps "never let the sun set on our anger or else we will give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:27 NJB) We want the best for people when we pray for them. When we truly pray for the grace to forgive people, we will slowly discover that we can no longer remain angry with them. It is most difficult to be angry with an individual and at the same time continue to lift him up in the presence of God. Jesus promises, "And if you have faith, everything you ask for in prayer you will receive." (Matthew 21:22 NJB) LET ME LOVE YOU
Her parents saw him. He walked over and asked them why this had happened. They explained, she did not leave for France at all. She was stricken ill with cancer. In her heart, she had believed that he will make it someday, but she did not want her illness to be his obstacle ... therefore she had chosen to leave him.
SHE WONDERS NOW
WELCOME BACKBeijing Olympics were over, so was a week of school holiday, but I still feel very tired. Each time Cher came back from visiting her dad, I felt a little tensed that she would miss her dad & his extended family more than living here with me. I tried all I could to welcome her back with warmth & comfort. While she was there on the 1st nite, she cried missing me, because her dad was too tired to have pillow talk with her. I could feel her disappointment. She misses her step baby sister the most, at last she doesn't feel being alone, she has another sibling after all. She didn't spend much time with her dad, because he was busy at work most of the time. I'm really sorry for them. I really am. But I'm glad my meal companion & sleeping partner is back. NOT HIS PICASSO
CAN MONEY BUY LOVE?
A DOG NAMED....Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But she is a dog!" He said he didn't care what she looked like. I said, "You don't understand... I have had Sex since I was nine years old." He replied, "You must have been quite a strong boy." When I decided to get married, I told the minister that I would like to have Sex at the wedding. He told me to wait until after the wedding was over. I said, "But Sex has played a big part in my life and my whole world revolves around Sex." He said he didn't want to hear about my personal life and would not marry us in his church. I told him everyone would enjoy having Sex at the wedding. The next day we were married at the Justice of the Peace. My family is barred from the church from then on.
When my wife and I went on our honeymoon, I took the dog with me. When we checked into the motel, I told the clerk that I wanted a room for me and my wife and a special room for Sex. He said that every room in the motel is a place for sex. I said, "You don't understand. ... Sex keeps me awake at night." The clerk said, "Me too!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest. But before the competition began, the dog ran away. Another contestant asked me why I was just looking around. I told him that I was going to have Sex in the contest. He said that I should have sold my own tickets. "You don't understand," I said, "I hoped to have Sex on TV." He called me a show off.
When my wife and I separated, we went to court to fight for custody of the dog. I said, "Your Honor, I had Sex before I was married but Sex left me after I was married." The Judge said, "Me too!"
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over for her. A cop came over and asked me what I was doing in the alley at 4 o'clock in the morning. I said, "I'm looking for Sex." - My case comes up next Thursday.
Well now I've been thrown in jail, been divorced and had more damn troubles with that dog than I ever foresaw. Why just the other day when I went for my first session with the psychiatrist, she asked me, "What seems to be the trouble?" I replied, "Sex has been my best friend all my life but now it has left me for ever. I couldn't live any longer so lonely." and the doctor said, "Look mister, you should understand that sex isn't a man's best friend so get yourself a dog."
歡迎光臨
有一家店， 養了一隻鸚鵡， 老闆就教那隻鸚鵡說：“歡迎光臨”
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