It was a really hot summer's day many years ago. I was on my way to pick up two items at the grocery store. In those days, I was a frequent visitor to the supermarket because there never seemed to be enough money for a whole week's food-shopping at once.

 

You see, my young wife, after a tragic battle with cancer, had died just a few months earlier. There was no insurance -- just many expenses and a mountain of bills. I held a part-time job, which barely generated enough money to feed my two young children.
 
Things were bad -- really bad.
 
And so it was that day, with a heavy heart and four dollars in my pocket, I was on my way to the supermarket to purchase a gallon of milk and a loaf of bread. The children were hungry and I had to get them something to eat. As I came to a red traffic light, I noticed on my right a young man, a young woman and a child on the grass next to the road. The blistering noonday sun beat down on them without mercy.
 
The man held up a cardboard sign which read, "Will Work for Food." The woman stood next to him. She just stared at the cars stopped at the red light. The child, probably about two years old, sat on the grass holding a one-armed doll. I noticed all this in the thirty seconds it took for the traffic light to change to green.

I wanted so desperately to give them a few dollars, but if I did that, there wouldn't be enough left to buy the milk and bread. Four dollars will only go so far. As the light changed, I took one last glance at the three of them and sped off feeling both guilty (for not helping them) and sad (because I didn't have enough money to share with them).
 
As I kept driving, I couldn't get the picture of the three of them out of my mind. The sad, haunting eyes of the young man and his family stayed with me for about a mile. I could take it no longer. I felt their pain and had to do something about it. I turned around and drove back to where I had last seen them.
 
I pulled up close to them and handed the man two of my four dollars. There were tears in his eyes as he thanked me. I smiled and drove on to the supermarket. Perhaps both milk and bread would be on sale, I thought. And what if I only got milk alone, or just the bread? Well, it would have to do.
 
I pulled into the parking lot, still thinking about the whole incident, yet feeling good about what I had done. As I stepped out of the car, my foot slid on something on the pavement. There by my feet was a twenty-dollar bill. I just couldn't believe it. I looked all around, picked it up with awe, went into the store and purchased not only bread and milk, but several other items I desperately needed.
 
I never forgot that incident. It reminded me that the universe was strange and mysterious. It confirmed my belief that you could never out give the universe. I gave away two dollars and got twenty in return. On my way back from the supermarket, I drove by the hungry family and shared five additional dollars with them.
 
This incident is only one of many that have occurred in my life. It seems that the more we give, the more we get. It is, perhaps, one of those universal laws that say, "If you want to receive, you must first give."
 
There is a little rhyme that goes like this:
 
"A man there was, and they called him mad, the more he gave, the more he had."

 

Most times, we think that we don't have anything to give. Yet, if we look more closely, we 'll see that even the little we have could be shared with others. Let us not wait for a time when we think we'll have lots and then we'll give. By giving and sharing the little we have, we open up the storehouse of the universe and permit rivers of good to come our way.
 
Don't take my word for it. Just honestly try to give and you'll be surprised at the results. Generally, the returns do not come back from those we give to. It comes back from sources we could hardly imagine. So give your way to riches.
 
Take a chance on this universal principle. Take a chance on yourself. Universal principles always work.
 
Sometimes the return from giving happens very quickly as in the true story above. Other times, it takes much longer. But be assured of this: Give and you will receive -- and you'll receive lots more than you ever gave.
 
And when you give, don't do it with a heart of fear, but with a heart full of gratitude. You will be amazed at how it all works out.

 

Open the gates of affluence in our lives by giving a bit of what we have to those in need. As the great Teacher said, "Give and it will be given unto you.."

 

The last time I visited Sue, was some years ago in JB. I always feel lousy as a bad influence to her. Now, we are both single moms with each our own child. Somehow a common bond has built between us.

Then & now...

Finally, we met again... this time I played the host. The waiting for her alone at a friend's bistro was just overwhelmed while she was dining with her business associates in Kuching. A lot of memories brought me back to those good old times when we were ex-colleagues in Singapore....

 

With Shin(Ah Choi's nephew)at Bing Coffee...

 Hahaha.... Sue is going to kill me with this pic!!??? (boy, this woman slept through the whole afternoon) 

 

Sorry lah, time's bad, no sharkfin soup, only green bean soup & fried rice...

Once upon a time there lived a bear in a cave deep in the woods. Nearby was a meadow in which a farmer kept his cattle -- and one large, ferocious-looking bull. Each day the bear hid at the edge of the woods, watching the bull.
 

The bear was known as the strongest, most fierce creature for miles around. No other beast in the forest dared to tangle with him. As the bear watched the bull peacefully gazing, he wondered which one of them would win a test of strength. He thought about this for many days. Then one morning he decided to challenge the bull to a fight to the finish.
 
The bull had just chomped down on a fresh clump of clover when he looked up and saw the bear barreling across the meadow toward him. He stopped chewing. The red flag of danger popped up in his head. The bear skidded to a halt in front of him.
 

The bull lowered his head menacingly, his sharp horns aimed right for the bear's throat. For long moments they stood in place -- eyeball to eyeball -- neither one of them moving. Finally the bull grew tired of the stare-down and asked, "What do you want, Bear?"

 

"I want to fight you," growled the bear.
 

"Why?" asked the bull.
 

"Because, I want to prove that I am a stronger and better fighter than you are."
 

The bull laughed. "I thought you really wanted something. You can't possibly win against me. I have sharp horns that can cause terrible injuries."
 

"And my claws are sharp and quick," the bear shot back. "I have defeated many an enemy -- anyone who would harm my cubs or take away my mate. I am the king of the forest!"
 

"Then go back to the forest," the bull bluntly advised. "This is the meadow."
 

The bear blinked in surprise. "I beg your pardon..."
 

"I mean, what's the point of me fighting with you?" the bull asked. "What would that prove? We are not enemies. I have not harmed your cubs or taken your mate."
 

"It would prove that I am the strongest."
 

"Okay," said the bull, smiling. "I'll buy that. You are strongest. Now leave and let me graze in peace."
 

"Just one cotton-pickin' minute. What do you mean by that?" The bear raised a club-like paw. "I will tear you to shreds. Defend yourself."
 

"What you do is up to you," the bull answered calmly. "But if you do, what will all your friends -- the ones who are watching us right now -- think about you?"
 

"They will think that I am the strongest," yelled the frustrated bear.
 

"I don't think so. I do not choose to fight you just because you choose to fight with me. I would only fight to defend one of the cows in my care. If you attack one of them, then I'd be obliged to give you a good lashing."
 

"I can't attack them," protested the bear. "They can't fight back. There would be no victory to it."
 

"Exactly," answered the bull. "But what if you did? And what if I should try to defend them? What if something should happen to me? Who would protect them then? You? Would you trust me to protect your cubs if something happened to you? What would happen to your family if you lose the fight?"
 

"I never thought of that," said the bear.
 

"Go back into the woods, Bear," said the bull as he turned to walk away. "Live in peace. And I will stay in the meadow and do the same."
 

The bear turned toward the woods. He had come spoiling for a fight -- to prove which one was the strongest.
  

But he had learned an important lesson from a very wise bull. In peace, there are no losers.

 A student asked a teacher, "What is love?"

 

The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the wheat field and choose the biggest wheat and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

 

The student went to the field, went through the first row, he saw one big wheat, but he wondered, "...may be there is a bigger one later." Then he saw a bigger one... "But may be there is an even bigger one waiting for him.....??"
 
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he started to realize that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted. So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hands.
 
The teacher told him, "...this is love... You keep looking for a better one, but when later you realize, you have already missed the person...."
 
"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
 
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is: you can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."

The student went to the corn field, this time he was careful not to repeat the previous mistake, when he reached the middle of the field, he has picked one medium corn that he felt satisfactory, and came back to the teacher.

 

The teacher told him, "this time you brought back a corn.... You look for one that is just nice, which you have faith and believe this is the best one you get.... This is marriage."

Maybe I was a little over-sensitive when Wong was surprised how I got to know April Cheh was admitted to hospital. They are ex-colleagues & still good friends. He decided to chip in few hundreds RM to ease April Cheh's hospitalisation bill & I told him all I could afford is to send her a well-wishing sms.

 

I only met April Cheh for less than a day time, through James, two years ago(lost track)??? We keep in touch by exchanging forwarding emails. But today, I feel so helpless to even call her a "friend" when there's nothing much I could do to help when she's in need(it could be anyone in my life). What can I offer to help besides monetary aids which is beyond my affordability? Does a sms help just like James said? Maybe prayers help?

My caption: "If silence is music to you, I'll sing it to you..." has captured his attention.

 

 I know he understands what it means because he could have felt that the caption was about him. But he was just too humble and pretended to play dumb again. Really cute!! I really appreciate that he finally broke the silence even if that means nothing to him... it means a lot to me!

我想可以幫助很多人釐清這一次次級房貸跟金融風暴的成因寫的很淺顯，轉貼出來讓大家多吸收一點新知，才知道這一波到底是在跌什麼你手中的連動債和基金為什麼會這麼慘的主因。

 

一。 杠杆。目前，許多投資銀行為了賺取暴利，採用20－30倍杠杆操作，假設一個銀行A自身資產為30億，30倍杠杆就是900億。也就是說，這個銀行A以 30億資產為抵押去借億的資金用於投資，假如投資盈利5％，那麼A就獲得45億的盈利，相對於A自身資產而言，這是150％的暴利。反過來，假如投資虧損5％，那麼銀行A賠光了自己的全部資產還欠15億。
　　　　
二。 CDS合同。由於杠杆操作高風險，所以按照正常的規定，銀行不運行進行這樣的冒險操作。所以就有人想出一個辦法，把杠杆投資拿去做“保險”。這種保險就叫 CDS。比如，銀行A為了逃避杠杆風險就找到了機構B。機構B可能是另一家銀行，也可能是保險公司，諸如此類。A對B說，你幫我的貸款做違約保險怎麼樣，我每年付你保險費 5千萬，連續10年，總共5億，假如我的投資沒有違約，那麼這筆保險費你就白拿了，假如違約，你要為我賠償。A想，如果不違約，我可以賺 45億，這裡面拿出5億用來做保險，我還能淨賺40億。如果有違約，反正有保險來賠。所以對A而言這是一筆只賺不賠的生意。B是一個精明的人，沒有立即答應A的邀請，而是回去做了一個統計分析，發現違約的情況不到1％。如果做一百家的生意，總計可以拿到500億的保險金，如果其中一家違約，賠償額最多不過 50億，即使兩家違約，還能賺400億。A,B雙方都認為這筆買賣對自己有利，因此立即拍板成交，皆大歡喜。
　　　　
三。 CDS市場。B做了這筆保險生意之後，C在旁邊眼紅了。C就跑到B那邊說，你把這100個CDS賣給我怎麼樣，每個合同給你2億，總共200億。B想，我的400億要10年才能拿到，現在一轉手就有200億，而且沒有風險，何樂而不為，因此B和C馬上就成交了。這樣一來，CDS就像股票一樣流到了金融市場之上，可以交易和買賣。實際上C拿到這批CDS之後，並不想等上10年再收取200億，而是把它掛牌出售，標價220億；D看到這個產品，算了一下，400億減去220億，還有180億可賺，這是“原始股”，不算貴，立即買了下來。一轉手，C賺了20 億。從此以後，這些CDS就在市場上反復的抄，現在CDS的市場總值已經抄到了62萬億美元。
　　　　
四。 次貸。上面 A,B,C,D,E,F....都在賺大錢，那麼這些錢到底從那裡冒出來的呢？從根本上說，這些錢來自A以及同A相仿的投資人的盈利。而他們的盈利大半來自美國的次級貸款。人們說次貸危機是由於把錢借給了窮人。筆者對這個說法不以為然。筆者以為，次貸主要是給了普通的美國房產投資人。這些人的經濟實力本來只夠買自己的一套住房，但是看到房價快速上漲，動起了房產投機的主意。他們把自己的房子抵押出去，貸款買投資房。這類貸款利息要在8％－9％以上，憑他們自己的收入很難對付，不過他們可以繼續把房子抵押給銀行，借錢付利息，空手套白狼。此時A很高興，他的投資在為他賺錢；B也很高興，市場違約率很低，保險生意可以繼續做；後面的C,D,! E,F等等都跟著賺錢。
　　　　
五。 次貸危機。房價漲到一定的程度就漲不上去了，後面沒人接盤。此時房產投機人急得像熱鍋上的螞蟻。房子賣不出去，高額利息要不停的付，終於到了走頭無路的一天，把房子甩給了銀行。此時違約就發生了。此時A感到一絲遺憾，大錢賺不著了，不過也虧不到那裡，反正有B做保險。B也不擔心，反正保險已經賣給了C。那麼現在這份CDS保險在那裡呢，在G手裡。G剛從F手裡花了300億買下了 100個CDS，還沒來得及轉手，突然接到消息，這批CDS被降級，其中有20個違約，大大超出原先估計的1％到2％的違約率。每個違約要支付50億! 的保 險金，總共支出達1000億。加上300億CDS收購費，G的虧損總計達1300億。雖然G是全美排行前10名的大機構，也經不起如此巨大的虧損。因此G 瀕臨倒閉。
　　　　
六。 金融危機。如果G倒閉，那麼A花費5億美元買的保險就泡了湯，更糟糕的是? 採用了杠杆原理投資，根據前面的分析，A 賠光全部資產也不夠還債。因此A立即面臨破產的危險。除了A之外，還有A2，A3,...,A20，統統要準備倒閉。因此G,A,A2,...,A20一起來到美國財政部長面前，一把鼻涕一把眼淚地遊說，G萬萬不能倒閉，它一倒閉大家都完了。財政部長心一軟，就把G給國有化了，此後A,...,A20的保險金總計1000億美元全部由美國納稅人支付。
　　　　
七。 美元危機。上面講到的100個CDS的市場價是300億。而CDS市場總值是62萬億，假設其中有10％的違約，那麼就有6萬億的違約CDS。這個數字是 300億的200倍。如果說美國政府收購價值300億的CDS之後要賠出1000 億。那麼對於剩下的那些違約CDS，美國政府就要賠出20萬億。如果不賠，就要看著A20,A21,A22等等一個接一個倒閉。無論採取什麼措施，美元大貶值已經不可避免。
　　　　
以上計算所用的假設和數字同實際情況會有出入，但美國金融危機的嚴重性無法低估。

 There she goes again, I'm so proud of her bravery to travel alone & her excitement to meet her dad & her step sister, Sophie. Wishing them a wonderful time spent together. I have been keeping myself busy since she left this morning. Thank God, I didn't get the traffic "saman" for parking illegally at the airport when I saw the police officer walked past my car with the compound tickets in his hands; rushed to join my family for the next half of Sunday mass service; sent mom to weekend market & supermarket after our ritual breakfast; spring-cleaned my place(thanks to Dr Lau for his prescription for my backache which I didn't know how I got it yesterday - another sign of old age perhaps?); "invited" dad to come over & helped fix my leaking tap & broken window handle; went over early to help mom for dinner; watched our favorite program "Taiwan Million Star 3"; replied Cher's bedtime greeting via sms; home...

 

So I am free from "single-parenting" for the next 2 weeks! Helping myself to make through the days & nights without Cher around.... I know just how to keep myself occupied, I should be happy & enjoying myself being alone..... sometimes......

 Mom's 1st home-grown pumpkin weighs at 5kg. She's going to cut it into few pieces & share them among her loved siblings & friends. Somehow it gives me a very warm feeling about home-grown vegetables or fruits & sharing. Can't wait to eat it anyway!! Yum yum.....

 Small world it is.... I bumped into my ex-colleague, the same guy, in 2 days. Yesterday at breakfast (I met another friend at the same kopitiam) & today at my weekly brisk-walking in the park.

 

It's the promise I vowed to dad never to mess with any man in my life henceforth. Prevention is better than cure? So, I have confined myself from getting involved with men, especially those locally. I don't want any uninvited man to come knocking at my door & disrupt my peace. I would say, Trouble is a unisex name! Moreover, in a small city, rumors sell like hotcakes! I don't wish to be in the limelight! Besides, I owe dad too much to ever break my promise & I can't afford to murder him with another heart attack.

 

I began to see one of the amazements of singleparenthood as a tool to measure one's sincerity. That's why I'm very straightforward to tell the world in the first place that I'm now a poor singlemom. I would never use any gimmick to advertise myself. Run if you can't afford to raise someone's flesh & blood as your own & yet you want to persuade the mother to bed. Don't make me despise you.

 

All I ask for is a shoulder to lean on when I'm tired & weary, a listening ear when I need to talk, that's all. What more could I demand if this simple foundation can never be built?

There was once a man who was very rich and very miserly at the same time. The villagers disliked him intensely. One day he said to them, "Either you're jealous of me or you don't understand my love of money-God alone knows. But you dislike me; that much I know. When I die, I won't take anything with me. I will leave it all for others. I will make a will, and I will give everything to charity. Then everyone will be happy."
 
Even then people mocked and laughed at him. The rich man said to them, "What is the matter with you? Can't you wait a few years to see my money go to charity?"
 
The villagers didn't believe him. He said, "Do you think I'm immortal? I'll die like everyone else, and then my money will go to charities." He couldn't understand why they didn't believe him.

 

One day he went for a walk. All of a sudden it started raining heavily, so he took shelter under a tree. Under this tree he saw a pig and a cow. The pig and the cow entered into conversation, and the man overheard what they were saying.
 
 The pig said to the cow, "How is it that everybody appreciates you and nobody appreciates me? When I die, I provide people with bacon, ham and sausage. People can also use my bristles. I give three or four things, whereas you give only one thing: milk. Why do people appreciate you all the time and not me?"
 
The cow said to the pig, "Look, I give them milk while I'm alive. They see that I am generous with what I have. But you don't give them anything while you're alive. Only after you're dead do you give ham, bacon and so forth. People don't believe in the future; they believe in the present. If you give while you are alive, people will appreciate you. It is quite simple."

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.
 
When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep It in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.
 
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its colour and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine Meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother Hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She Was terrified how to face her husband.
 
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words. "I am with you Darling"
 
The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behaviour. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point In finding fault with the mother. Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.
 
If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would Be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.
 
Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know. By this way we miss out some warmth in human relationship.

好久没有像这几天这么忙碌，连男人也懒得理会及“物猎”了。哈哈哈。。。忙中取乐也罢，以忙碌为精神寄托也罢，感觉还蛮好的！

 

最近还无意中接受了不少动听的赞语。有如今早女儿同学的妈妈，把自己夸得有点飘飘然的感觉。。。 我的回应则是：没男人爱，自己唯有更加学习爱护，珍惜自己。独个儿自由自在，原来还是可以这么轻松快活的。

 

还真有点怀疑自己会不会因此习惯如此的生活，对待男人的热诚从此渐渐消失呢？？
 
昨天有人在试探我对信教的信仰，问我信不信奇迹？我信。他不信。可是我知道我的感染力还是有份量的。所以我很乐于分享主致给我神奇的爱。

 

有些人或事物是不值得我们”妄等“的。要面对的始终躲不了。我想因此我早已经作好最坏的心理准备，独个儿勇敢得走下另一段人生道路。活着在这世上有太多太多的差事等待我们去”交“。何必再为难自己呢？笑也过一天， 哭也要过一天，我选择笑！你呢？