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アリシア チンの透かす

Psalm 118:24 This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.

Alicia

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It’s beside the point if I am literately smart enough to put my life into words, but seriously, many have more traumatized lives than I have. The severe insomnia had kept me wide awake at night for years. Sourced from one event after another, heartbreak, career failure, financial commitment, pressure from family and peers, heart-wretched miscarriage, marital infidelity, loss of respect from loved ones, loss of communication from friends due to distance, etc. etc.. Divorce has finally built up my self-confidence back in the workforce after 5 years of detachment; won the custody of my child. I’m not saying that I’m proud of my divorce, but I value the lessons from it and am learning to improve myself as I believe I was partly the culprit for the failure. It’s about our willingness to learn from life’s ups and downs, how we want to live to be remembered, for this fragile & transitory lifetime, isn't it??
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BUCK UP, ALLY!!!

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how you feel about yourself now (The Magician)
You feel a sense of purpose and the willpower to get things done. Self-empowerment is the key word here. Any new enterprises in love or career show great potential. You feel that you have the ability to think on your feet and, faced with opposition, the appearance of The Magician is an excellent omen of success. Time to believe in your self and go for it! (I know…. rely on no one but myself. Men would say this to me… so why do I need a man for??)

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what you most want at this moment (Judgement)
The cards suggest Ally, that what you most want at this time is a new start, to close this chapter in your life and have a brand new beginning. This is not a time for regret but for rejoicing. Rewards for past efforts will follow and you are sure to have many opportunities presented to you. Life will pick up a pace and the choices you make will have far reaching implications that could change your life dramatically. Any legal issues should be ruled in your favour. (I’m looking forward to the new chapter, shouldn’t be long I guess…. As for legal issues, I seriously pray for favourable answers to them.)

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your fears (Strength)
You are fearful of lacking the will power and strength to deal with someone or something that concerns you. Feeling negative and listening to all your fears will only cause failure and lost opportunities. Be as brave as a lion but work compassionately and you’ll be fine. (If chanting helps….. “I’m a lion! I’m a lion! I’m fearless of no one & nothing!! Except the Almighty?? ~ I can hear someone keeps repeating that to me….”)

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what is going for you (The Hanged Man)
With patience this passive time, this time of feeling in limbo and indecision, will pass. You will know what decisions to make, what or who to let go of and how to move on. Whatever self-sacrifice you have to make you will feel a better and stronger person for it. (Patience & self-sacrifice huh…… another those “only time will tell” statement….. Sigh! Life!)

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what is going against you (The Star)
This is a period of tension and frustrations, you feel pessimistic and fearful that your hopes will be dashed. Any bad luck you may be having is primarily down to your self-doubt and negativity. Have faith that your luck will change. (O Lord, please renew & strengthen my faith….)

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outcome (The Emperor)
Expect success and achievement of your goals, this is a time for fulfilment of your ambitions. If you have placed your trust in your father, husband/partner or a man of significance in your life, they will come up trumps for you. If you have been the victim of ill-will don’t worry, you will win in the end. (God bless me.)

A LETTER FROM INDONESIA

God bless, my name is Tjong Khim Long/ Tjuk Lin Tse -- alias Yusuf.? Tjuk Lin Tse is the name I use in my profession. I was born in North Kalimantan but have settled down in Jakarta for 21 years as a Chinese physician. I am also a member of the Indonesian Chinese Physicians' Association. Besides being a Chinese physician, I am also a fortune teller, I started my practice at a fee of Rp. 500 for each patient. The latest fee before my repentance in 1988 was Rp. 150,000 per patient for half an hour's consultation. I had so many patients that they have to wait for their turn for 2 to 3 months, and sometimes even up to 4 months to have their fortune told.

1. Method of Fortune

After a patient has registered and the turn came for his fortune to be told, he will come into the room. The moment he walked in, I knew the problem he faced that caused him to look for me - whether it was about work, family or others. I also knew what sickness he was suffering from and if he needed medical surgery and how many times he had undergone surgery. What's more, I knew everything about his children, whether they are widows or widowers, etc. That was not my power.. I learned the method of fortune telling from the knowledge descended from my ancestors. I did not learn it from books. Since I was young I was trained by praying, fasting and reciting charms.

When a patient approaches me to have his fortune told, it was the spirit that is in him that told the spirit that was with me. Even my student who has not passed could be accompanied by a spirit that would tell him everything. Because it was the spirit in the patient that told the spirit that was with me, which enabled me to read my patient's mind, that was why I was confident that I could tell fortunes accurately. So then how did a person from such a background as me believe in Jesus when I totally could not believe in Jesus?

At that time, Jesus, to me, was not of the same race as me, so how could He bring me to heaven? It was even impossible for me to dream about it. To me, the Bible was written by men, it is not something that dropped down from the sky. But now I believe in Jesus, maybe more than some Christians do. I did not become a Christian through a Christian.? Even if there was someone who handed me 100 million Rupiah to become a Christian, I would not want to be a Christian, I would reject that offer. I became a believer through a long process from God Himself.

2. How did I believe in Jesus?

1st February 1988 was the when I started to believe in Jesus. Every human being possesses love and it was through love that I got to know Jesus. The love that I am relating is the love between husband and wife. On 23 March 1987 my wife passed away due to an illness that caused her to lose her appetite for food. Although I was a physician, I had never given her any prescriptions.

Instead I brought her to other famous physicians for prescriptions. There was a room in my house which was like a temple. For 21 years, the idols that I worshipped could move and during the course of my wife's illness, I worshipped those idols. But there were no results. All my other efforts to cure my wife did not have any results too.? At last my wife was sent to the hospital, but the doctor could not figure out what my wife was suffering from? The general check-up showed that my wife was healthy, there was no illness.? At that time my wife could only eat 2 spoonfuls of food. She would throw up if given another spoonful. After facing a dead end, my wife told me that she decided to

receive Jesus Christ and believe in Him. Although I did not believe in Jesus at all, I permitted my wife to go ahead because of my love for her. When my wife believed in Jesus, she was prayed upon by my son and daughter who at that time already were believers of Jesus.

After being prayed upon, my wife slept soundly that night. When she woke up the next day, she looked so radiant and since then she could sleep peacefully every night. What happened in return made me unable to sleep. How did that happen?

Imagine, my wife had believed in Jesus, but my house was still full of idols. According to my prediction, my wife would return home from the hospital in 8 to 10 days and the situation at home would undoubtedly be a problem for her. As Christ's believer my wife would say "Halleluiah and Praise God", while I still had to say words of my idol worship.

This difference would undoubtedly result in an uncomfortable atmosphere.

3. Idols in my house destroyed

Immediately I gathered my students for a meeting, but they could not come up with a suggestion for a way out. Due to the love for my wife, I destroyed every kind of idols in my house, including the one from Ming Dynasty that could move.

The doctor found out that my wife was suffering from cancer of the intestines 6 hours before the passing away of my wife. We thought that it was only hemorrhoids. When my wife passed away, I was still an unbeliever. Since my wife already received Christ, her funeral service was carried out in a Christian manner.

There was a service in my house every night and I had to pray after them in the name of Jesus. I also heard about Jesus and how He gives life and heaven to those who believes in Him. I wanted to know where my wife was; in heaven or in hell. According to the Christians and pastors, my wife is in Heaven, but how could they proof that to me? No one has ever been to heaven and returned to tell me that my wife is in heaven.

4. Attending the church seminar in South Korea

In August 1987, there was a church seminar for Asians. My family of 7 registered for the seminar. I attended the events but not the services. Many churches in Asia sent their representatives there. I went there just to learn about Jesus.

I have 4 children, 1 son and 3 daughters. My eldest daughter was totally deaf. She could not hear at all, not even the sound of burning firecrackers. I brought her along to Korea anyway. We went to the Mount of Prayer, where people go there in throngs. At that time, a total of 163 Indonesian went there, including my family. There were caves in which we could I pray. I was interested to know about those caves. I queued up but my turn never came. I met a church elder from Taiwan. I saw him pray in the name of Jesus for healing without any charms or medicines. There was a person whose arms were not of the same length, after being prayed for in the name of Jesus, his shorter arm grew outward and became the same length with the other!

I was also an ex-acrobat and magician, but what I saw was not magic. Then I asked that church elder to heal my eldest daughter. He told me that he has no power to heal, but he only relies on the power of Jesus. I was given the opportunity to witness God's power. The church elder placed his two fingers in my eldest daughter's ears and prayed.

He said that in the name of Jesus this child must be able to hear and say 'Amen'. After he finished praying, he snapped his fingers behind my eldest daughter, she could now hear.

That incident really touched my heart because for 31 years my eldest daughter could not hear a single sound. Now she could hear just through a prayer. That church elder taught my daughter to say "Halleluiah" and she was able to follow after him although not fully accurate. At that moment I felt like country fellow who for the first time came to the city. I felt the magnificence of God.

5. I began to feel the awesome power of God

On the way back to Indonesia, we stopped by Taiwan and Hong Kong.  Usually each time I was in Singapore or Taiwan, I did not have the chance to go anywhere since many people would come to me to have their fortune told. But no one knew about my stop over in Taiwan then, so I had the chance to go to a place of recreation called Wu Lay.

When I came back from Wu Lay, my foot began to swell to a size bigger than my shoes could fit. But due to my scheduled flight, I had to fly to Hong Kong with my foot which condition was getting even worse. I thought that if it worsened even more, I would have to carry my shoes to Indonesia . So I asked my daughters to pray for me. After they prayed in the name of Jesus, I did not see any results. They prayed a second time, still there was no change. So I left it at that and went to sleep.? The next day when I woke up, my foot was healed! Filled with joy, I went back to Indonesia with my shoes on. At that time, I still did not want to believe in God, and I continued my profession as a fortune teller. At that time, I was also suffering from diabetes and chronic high blood pressure.. In that situation, I wanted to know how great God's power is. I did not take any medicines, instead I asked my children to pray for me. After being prayed for, I went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor asked me where I went to seek medical attention for the past month. He was amazed at the result of my check-up. I told him I did not seek any medical attention at all. He did not believe that without any medication my illness could be healed. My diabetes and chronic high blood pressure were back to normal. Back then it was difficult for my blood pressure to reach 150, but now it reaches between 135 - 85. What had happened assured me that there is great power behind prayers. I had to confess the splendor of God, but I was still unable to bring myself to fully accept Him. The problem laid with my profession as a fortune teller which enabled me to earn a lot of money easily. At that time I could earn about 500 to 600 thousand Rupiahs per day without any capital. If I were to accept Christ, I would have to leave my profession and I would not have any earnings. I was at a pinch, such that I chose to remain a fortune teller.

One thing that was very unusual, there were also many Christians who wanted their fortunes told. I got to know that because I bought 100 Bibles from Korea and I gave one to each of my patients. Some of them said that they already have a Bible, which could mean they are Christians and they believe in Jesus. When I asked them if Jesus still helped them, they said that Jesus used to help, but not anymore. I advised them that there must be something wrong and I suggested that they seek God earnestly. I told them that God is willing to help even someone who did not believe in Him, He helped me! At that time my fortune-telling became more popular, and many Christians was curious because there was a fortune teller who gave out Bibles. They said that in this world, the only fortune teller who would give out bibles is me!

6. My repentance

To end my testimony, on 1st February 1988 at 1 o'clock past midnight, I repented with all my heart. That day I went to look at 2 projects for Feng Shui. The last one was at Pondok Indah, a very broad land with many buildings. It was raining cats and dogs when I reached there, such that it was hard for me to get out from my car. I brought with me my compass but the compass needle would not point accurately from inside the car. So I had to go out from my car with an umbrella to look at the place. When I reached home, it was already close to 8 o'clock at night. I went to bed right after dinner because I wasn't feeling well. At midnight I was awaken with breathing difficulties. As a physician I knew that was a heart problem. The air that I exhaled seemed more than the air that I inhaled. I couldn't stand it anymore, and I knew that in 5 to 10 minutes, I would die. At that moment, I remembered the power of prayer, and I knelt down on my bed, praying to God that He would bring me through that critical moment so that I could see tomorrow.  After "Amen", there was no result, and my breathing grew more difficult. Again I knelt down and prayed to God. After a second "Amen", there was still no result.. I felt so uneasy and according to my prediction, I still had 2 minutes left. That short time would determine whether I would still live or die. In that situation, it was already impossible for me to return to worshipping idols because I have destroyed all of them, such that the only way then was to pray for healing. I promised that if I was healed, I wanted to believe in Jesus, obey Him, be His witness, serve Him and leave my old profession.

At that very moment, I believed that Jesus was right there in front of me. As usual I ended my prayer with "Amen", but amazingly, just as I was saying "A", before I could even say "Men", I was already breathing normally and fully healed. My body felt so fresh. It was as though I was young again, and I felt deep joy that I have never felt before for the whole of my 61 years I have lived in this world!

It was at that moment that I put my trust in Jesus. I am a man who holds on to my promises, and that was also why I fulfilled my promise that I made to Jesus.

On the 1st of April 1988, I announced that I no longer practice fortune-telling and Feng Shui although there were still many people who wanted to have their fortune told, including people form Singapore, Taiwan and Malaysia. God loves men, but it's a pity not many men wants to love Him. I felt very indebted to God who loves me so much and my desire is to repay His love.

I call out to you to get to know Jesus, believe in Him and receive him whole-heartedly. Trust in Him 100%, not 99%, and you will be saved, healed and restored in this world and also in heaven.

May this testimony of mine increase the faith of all believers and to tell the pre-believers that Jesus is not an idol which we can make, pick and choose but He is the God for men to put their trust in and to worship.

John 3:16 : For God so loved the world, that he gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life".

John 14:6 : Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.

Hebrews 2: 3-4 : How shall we escape, if we neglect so great salvation; which at the first began to be spoken by the Lord, and was confirmed unto us by them that heard him; God also bearing them witness, both with signs and wonders, and with diverse miracles, and gifts of the Holy Ghost, according to his own will?

Hebrews 4:7b : "To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts.."

Acts 4:12 : Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.

John 1:12 : But as many as received him, to them gave the power to become the sons of? God, even to them that believe on his name.

We can do no great things, only small things with the great love of God.

COMMON BELIEFS MEN HAVE ABOUT WOMEN

Belief #1: SHE’LL NEVER BE SATISFIED.

Truth: Women are always looking for ways to make things better. Don’t take her suggestions as complaints or criticisms, but as her desire to make the relationship or situation the best that it can be.

Belief #2: A STRONG, CONFIDENT WOMAN DOESN’T NEED A MAN TO TAKE CARE OF HER.

Truth: Everyone loves to be taken care of and to feel needed. Even if a woman can fix things around the house or change the oil in her car, she will still ask for your help so she can feel your strength, support and protection. Don’t ever stop asking, “What can I do for you?” because it shows her that you care.

Belief #3: WOMEN ONLY WANT TO CONTROL MEN.

Truth: It’s not about control; it’s about love. When a woman sees a man hurting, struggling or overwhelmed, her goal is to help, not control.
Let her give you a helping hand.

Belief #4: KEEPING A WOMAN REQUIRES A LOT OF HARD WORK, TIME AND MONEY.

Truth: A serious relationship requires time and effort to cultivate it. You shouldn’t look at it as a burden. Your wife or girlfriend will reciprocate the effort you put into it.

Belief #5: YOU CAN’T LIE TO WOMEN.

Truth: Women are extremely capable of picking up moods and attitudes and can easily read body language and facial expressions. Although you may think that you have gotten away with a great lie, she is either letting it slide because she wants to keep the peace, or she is lying to herself because she’s afraid of the truth.

Belief #6: JEALOUSY AND POSSESSIVENESS ARE A PART OF BEING A WOMAN.

Truth: Women are protective of what belongs to them. They protect the things they value, especially when it comes to relationships. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you; she is guarding the relationship. You are too precious to her for her to allow anything bad to happen.

Belief #7: WOMEN ARE EMOTIONAL.

Truth: Women don’t hide their feelings. They articulate what’s going on in their minds. There’s nothing wrong with emotions—we all have them. Being in touch with their emotions causes women to be sensitive and caring, and that’s why men love them.

NOTICE OF OFFLINE

Since office’s wifi’s no long available, I use my self-paid broadband at work. But since Ron, my associate colleague, came in to share office with me ~ boss’ cutting cost on rentals, I let her use my office PC (even though she has a laptop but no internet access) and broadband whenever she reports to work on Mon, Wed & Fri. Tremendous pay-cut for her but she seems to be comfortable with it. Now left only two of us. Not sure who’s going to leave next or should I say last??

At home, since “his” disappearance, I also become lazy to go online. Feeling like something is missing in my life. I know what it is but I keep myself busy with online dramas. At least they keep me occupied & sleep well.

Most importantly, I know “he’s” somewhere out there living happily. Love is not possessive ~ I have my dignity as well. I can’t be so cheap to keep telling a man how I feel for him….

Que sera, sera… No question asked, this is the trust he demands. I trusted a man once & all I received was a  broken heart. So, I don’t want to know how exactly he’s doing now since he has no interest to inform me. I don’t want to know. Sometimes the truth hurts. So I don’t want to know. No, thank you.

So friends who have been wondering of my whereabouts, I’m still breathing ya…. Not so much of kicking around though, very tired, physically, mentally & emotionally….. Missing my bed now…. (Yeah, it’s the AV period again…. Haiz!)

擁有一個東西,其實就失去兩個自由

An email from a friend:

我有個朋友A,月入只有$30,000,可是他過的生活是五星級的生活。
他不在乎每個月多繳一堆利息給銀行作為循環利息,也要「分期付款」把他喜歡的名牌和食物到手。
每個月到月底他就苦哈哈,這個時候,身上沒有任何現金的他,花不起一點錢吃路邊攤,可是可以用信用卡到餐廳消費吃更高級的料理。
我們常常笑他是「貧窮貴公子」。
不久之後他買汽車了,在各方親友的勸阻之下,仍然沒有辦法阻止他以$100,000的頭起款買下標緻206。
買車的第一個月是很快樂的,他開著他的跑車到處去飆,日子過得好不快活。一直到有一天晚上,我打電話給他,發現他竟然睡在汽車裡面。
「發生什麼事情了?」我緊張兮兮地揶揄他:「是不是債務人堵在你家門口,你不敢回家呀?」
「不是。」他哀怨地對我說:「是因為太晚回家了,沒有車位可以停。只好睡到車上來。」
不久之後他要搬家,整整打包了三個晚上才把他的東西收完。
兩台中型卡車載完他的家當。搬家的那幾天他心力交瘁,因為每一樣東西都很貴重,禁不起一點點不小心撞擊。
他終於崩潰。他說:「這些東西我 一個月摸不到三次,卻要為它們這麼 作牛作馬 ,唉!」
而且,這些東西的錢還沒有完全付完,每一個月,都被銀行追討利息。
當他看著身邊的好朋友… 一個一個在年假當中都要收拾行李出國去玩了,而他正要面臨卡爆的危機,困在這個小小的島嶼上,忍不住悲從中來。
他承認,他失去了自由。
我發現擁有一個東西是一體兩面,如你我擁有一個東西、享受他,同時你也是受到他的支配、他的擁有。
這個東西讓你付出的代價是時間、精神、金錢,如果他對於你沒有提供相對的價值和利益,那麼就是浪費,浪費你的時間、金錢和精神。
從我的朋友擁有一部汽車開始,他就陷入了被汽車擁有的生活。
原本他可以騎著機車上班,停在人行道或者任何不用付錢的地方,靈活地在這個城市到處遊走。他也可以搭乘大眾交通工具,幾拾元可以戴著他到他想去的任何地方,拍拍屁股下車,沒有煩惱。可是擁有了一部汽車之後,雖然免去了身體奔波之苦,可是卻要開始面對為車奔波之苦。
他的約會開始遲到,出門常常找不到車位,回家也沒有自己的停車位可以停,生活老是在為車位煩惱。
而且幾個月之後他告訴我他已經很少開車出門,原因是,油價花費太高,負擔不起。他說他失去了自由。
我們總是在追求更高、更好的享受,所有的科技物質發展也朝著人類這樣的需求進行。 但是,沒有一個人可以這樣全面地擁有所有物質享受。
我曾經試過,在一天疲累的上班族生活下來,其實你最需要的,是一碗麵、一台電視機,一個人。
你沒有多餘的時間去把玩你手上的那麼多東西。
在假日,最幸福的是和家人或者朋友吃一頓飯,然後回家休息。
說要出遠門要籌畫很久。
而且,衣櫃裡面那些美麗的衣服和鞋櫃裡的新鞋子,你總是找不到適當的時機去穿。
現代人擁有太多用不到、也享受不到的東西,卻還是要拚命地滿足心理沒有完全的那個夢。
擁有一個東西,你其實就失去兩個自由。
一個是被物質綑綁的自由,一個是面臨被金錢支配的自由。
這世界沒有僥倖,人總要為年輕的錯誤付出代價。原來,節儉的目的是自由。

PROVERBS 19:1

Better to be poor and honest than to be dishonest and a fool.

Never underestimate others’ intelligence when it comes to legal matters. There are always someone who outsmart us. No one is an idiot to loan you money when they put it down in black & white. Only greedy & gullible idiots who loan people money without an acknowledgment of receipt.

I’ve learnt my lesson never be kind again to sign my life  away in future. Never let money matters come in between a kinship. What more to say about friendships? There is no friendship when it comes to business. Lines have to be drawn. Friendship is friendship. Business means business.

Lord never forsakes us, it’s our own foolishness which fails us.



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MICHAEL JACKSON DEAD AT 50

MJ

This really is shocking news to me early this morning. I just couldn’t believe what I’ve heard over the radio. But the true fact is: even a King of Pop dies!

Another death at young age ~ 50 years old is young!! I don’t care how he looks like, black or surgically white. He’s truly talented. I love his songs & videos, apart from all his past hysterical sexual & child abuse behaviour.

I was hoping to watch his video clips of his live concerts at The O2 Arena, Greenwich, London starting next month, so THIS IS IT????

HOW MUCH DO I HAVE TO ENDURE?

At 5.30am this morning, I looked up at the dark cloudy sky from balcony, feeling the earth moving under my feet. I prayed. Cold breeze was blowing on my face….. love it! Suddenly my cellphone chirped. I was hoping it was from “him” but instead it was from Pat, our client cum bro in Christ. A mixed feeling of disappointment & appreciation.

When “he” asked me how would I endure on “his” disappearance? I was thinking…. maybe this was “his” courteous way of saying goodbye forever?? “He” said I don’t care where he is, I do, but I’m more hurt when he didn’t even knock at my door even when he was just outside? Remember Matthew 7:7??

Well, no one likes to make false assumption but seriously I don’t earn any benefit of doubts from “him”. I believe “he’s” in the good hands of God or someone. I don’t want a body without a soul. I don’t need “his” physical presence if I can’t win “his” affection.

As long as “he’s” happy with “his” life, my life means nothing to “him”, why would I allow myself to be fooled again? Don’t be silly! I won’t bang my head on the wall again…

DYING YOUNG

A 2nd cousin of mine passed away today by the age of 35 years old. Not sure of what fatal illness it was because we were only informed of the Chinese medical term, some kind of virus which has to do with blood & lungs. Doctor believes he might have contracted it from outside food. He travelled often due to his job. He didn’t want to believe his aggravating condition & rejected to undergo any treatment. Is this being selfish or clever not to waste $ on medical expenses & hospitalization? If I knew I’ve contracted a “terminal” illness & didn’t have any insurance coverage, I would not want to waste those $ as well.

He left behind his mother who dotes on him the most among other siblings because he was the most filial to her, his wife & 2 young daughters….

I hope he has bought MRTA for their house under his name & some personal insurance coverage for his family. It wasn’t because I have been a part-time insurance agent before but I believe this is a token of love ~ a financial security for our loved ones.

May his soul rest in peace. Amen.

A CHILD OR A PET?


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This scene has been in my mind since  I was in Singapore more than 14 years ago. My first impression was: Gosh! How could this parent treat the kid like an animal?

After my kindergarten teaching experience in Singapore, I began to realise that it’s love to leash your kid in public so that you won’t lose her/him. Especially when all means of educating the kid not to wander off have failed.

Of course I have never used a leash on Cher even though she was a wanderer too when she was a toddler! There was once when we brought her for shopping at Malacca Mahkota Parade Shopping Mall, she was trotting about curiously & freely… so cute in her diaper & tweet tweet shoes. Then I told her dad, “let’s hide ourselves!”

We stood in a corner keeping our eyes on her, she turned around & couldn’t see us. There in the crowd, she stood still. No crying. A Malay lady walked over & checked on her but didn’t do much. She didn’t make a fuss. After a while, we went over to her & cuddled her & kissed her. I warned her not to wander off again, otherwise she would never see us anymore. Since then, she sticks to me like a leech in public areas!


FATHER’S DAY

I came across this poem on the newspaper yesterday so I asked Cher to text it to her dad:

To my dad on his day ~
of whom I am a living will;
May your happiness fulfill.
Your goodness, as is just & right.
Deeds are seeds upon the night.
As wind & wonder have their ways,
delivering the destined light.

This is what many do not understand me: I don’t hold grudges against any of my exes, this doesn’t mean that I still have special feelings for them. I believe in destiny. What I see now is how I could retain & develop this beautiful bond of a father & a daughter. I feel sad enough to break them up, even sadder when I heard from a few divorced friends of mine were not allowed to visit or even being extorted for $ to see their own flesh & blood. I always feel that children are innocent & should not be brainwashed to hate either parent after the divorce. It’s between the adults.

We celebrated Father’s Day earlier last weekend because sis would be away for traveling on Father’s Day.

As dad loves beef steak, we went to “Chef At Home”. The food was fantastic but not the ambience. Sis, sis-in-law & I were supposed to split the bill, but I guess these two “more financially independent” women counted me out because I have baked a carrot cake??? Ain’t they lovely??? Hehehe…..


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Click here for this Carrot Cake recipe.

Wishing all fathers good health & happiness!

CANCER AWARENESS & BEAUTY TALK

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Took a day off today, 20 June 2009, from work to attend this Pap Smear Screening Awareness Talk organized by The Laila Taib Cancer Charitable Trust & Normah Medical Specialist Centre at Normah. Invited mom & sis-in-law to come along. Unfortunately, sis is away for travelling.

It has been years since I last did my PS screening when Cher was still a toddler. Without procrastination, I grabbed this opportune free PS talk & screening when I read it in the newspaper. This was the 5th talk by them so far & I believe their response should be improving as more Asian women are becoming more open-minded in such screening & health conscious. We were greeted by the friendly staff & some pre-packed refreshments & water upon arrival at the auditorium. Each attendant gets a free PS screening voucher which is valid for 6 months, free BP & pulse rate check-up service(thank God my readings were normal, but mom starts to worry about her high BP reading) & a complimentary one session of Venus Tummy Trim voucher(of course one laser treatment will not show any result! Hah!) which is valid for 3 months. The multi-racial audience were also quite active during the Q&A session.

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Right after the PS talk, an American doctor came by to promote his Thermage treatment to bring youthfulness back to aging women. Interesting but………. the cost is a bomb! Sigh….. I can only afford to learn to age gracefully!

Since we were there, I went to the blood bank to check if I’m fit enough to donate blood….. This is also one way to check if my hemoglobin level is normal. Aiks! What a shame, a “healthy” looking person like me is not fit enough to donate blood!! If only I could donate fat…….. hahaha…….

PLAN B

When Dan asked me this afternoon if I had told anyone of his whereabouts, I lied. I’ve learnt this surviving skill ~ “buat bodoh” (acting innocent) from him & Fred. So much to learn from men ~ to tackle them is to think like them, be like them!

After months of chasing, one of our KL supplier’s representative, Karen, has finally managed to recover from Dan’s long overdue owing to them. Unfortunately, Mr & Mrs Teng, our agitated clients, were not as lucky as her. They didn’t get hold of him.

I’m not sure if he believes me but I do not feel guilty at all for lying to him. I suggested to Fred earlier to confront him personally but he refused. Not sure what his actual reasons are but the urge was just too great for me not to do “anything” when I’m the one being “threatened” as the legal boss! What a shame! Hate this name ~ towkay nio! 老扳娘? Yucks! It’s really no fun being a boss! Pressured! Sigh…

MR SIAO’S MANDARIN CLASS

 

It has been a long while since we last saw Auguste Kwan De Hui 關德輝 in the limelight, now he plays the character of Mr Siao, the Mandarin teacher in "Mr Siao's Mandarin Class" on NTV7 at 9pm every Wednesday, from the 15th of April. Glad to see him back on the screen!

PCK vs Mr Siao
PCK Sdn Bhd vs Mr Siao’s Mandarin Class

No offence, Mr Phua or Mr Singh, my vote now goes to our very local Mr Siao!

We had a hysterical laugh watching it last night & my favourite characters are Ms Phoenix Four played by AyeKeng (aunt Grace, being English educated, speaks Mandarin exactly like her) and Tan Tai Shan played by Alvin Wong (at least he speaks fluent English ~ aiks! most Malaysians have picked up Mr Phua’s Singlish, now worse, Sdn Bhd!!).

I must say this is Malaysia’s funniest & most successful sitcom ever! Congratulations to the cast!

OBAMA SWATS FLY DURING CNBC INTERVIEW

 

I love this guy! Lol!!! Click here to practise fly swatting.

THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT SUE

It was really a nice dinner at Tom’s last night (I hardly dine out with friends nowadays) with Sue who was on duty for her 2nd trip to Kuching. To me, she’s one iron woman, a divorcee like myself with a young daughter living with her. I remember someone once told me, befriend with those whom we can absorb their wisdom & learn from their experiences. There were times when our ideals crashed but true friendships withstand all differences. We are learning from each other’s strength to better ourselves. I love you, girlfriend!

HERE COMES 3RD SEMESTER

Time for waking up at 5.05am (“oh! c’mon, another 5 mins ya??”) again after 2 weeks of school holidays. We usually have breakfast at home, so I don’t have to “lepak” at kopitiam gossiping with some uncles or aunties to spend 2 hours before my official working hour begins at 9am. Cher’s school starts at 7.10am. So we have to hit the road by 6.30am to avoid the congestive traffic. Yup, we tend to become experienced traffic rangers after all these years driving on the same routes. Not sure for how long more I have this privilege to come in to the office as early as 7am ~ as we are winding up this business?? Sigh…. missing this routine already.

THE IMAGES OF A MOTHER

Carnation

  4 YEARS OF AGE - My Mommy can do anything!

  8 YEARS OF AGE - My Mom knows a lot! A whole lot!

12 YEARS OF AGE - My Mother doesn't really know quite everything.

14 YEARS OF AGE - Naturally, Mother doesn't know that, either.

16 YEARS OF AGE - Mother? She's hopelessly old-fashioned.

18 YEARS OF AGE - That old woman? She's way out of date!

25 YEARS OF AGE - Well, she might know a little bit about it!

35 YEARS OF AGE - Before we decide, let's get Mom's opinion.

45 YEARS OF AGE - Wonder what Mom would have thought about it?

65 YEARS OF AGE - Wish I could talk it over with Mom.

DR M’S SEX SPEECH

May 29, 09 4:18pm
Most Malaysians expect former strongman Dr Mahathir Mohamad - still alert and sharp at 84 - to rise to the occasion in any speaking engagements.

The 200-strong crowd at the Bloggers Universe Malaysia 2009, packed inside a bar-cum-conference hall in Subang Jaya’s Lakeview Club on May 16, was not disappointed.

The former prime minister, a person who has little time for self-reflection, was however unusually candid in his one-hour speech.
Speaking off the cuff, he lamented his pledge not to censor the Internet. He believes certain parts of the cyberspace should be declared off limits, in particular pornography.

Mahathir confessed, with a mischievous sparkle in his eyes, that he had surf porn sites just “to see how easy it is for a child” to do so.

“My God, it was so easy,” he exclaimed. “All you’ve got to do is to put ‘SEX’ and you get everything, all the filth in the world would be shown to you - in motion.

“Now, I think this is very bad. I mean, adults like me who is 80 years old and quite incapable - that’s all right,” he said, leaving the floor in stitches.

“I’m not confessing anything,” he smiled. “Wait until you reach 80, then you will know.”

More laughter from the crowd.

“You know, we are born together, we grow up together, we play together, we enjoy life together, we grow old together,” he paused and then came the clincher.

“But why must that thing die before me,” he said, bringing down the house.

Mahathir, who obviously enjoyed telling the joke, was grinning from ear to ear.

“Anyway, for me it’s quite harmless (to view porn). Looking at these things, you really have nostalgia ... nothing wakes up at all, everything is dead,” he said, referring to his inability to ‘rise to occasion’ in this case.

But he readily conceded that government censorship of the Internet is “impossible”.

“I wish we can control... When we started the Multimedia Super Corridor, we promise the people that we will not censor the Internet. But at times, I regretted this.”

Tale of an excitable 12-year-old boy

Mahathir then went on to give the example of a 12-year-old having access to Internet porn.

“He gets very excited. It’s alright for him to get excited and maybe get rid of his excitement in some easy way. But we are seeing a lot...,” he screeched to a halt when he heard nervous giggles from the audience.

Then in his grandfatherly way, he admonished, “You must have done it yourself.”

Again, the crowd roared. He continued with his tale of the ‘excited’ teen.

“He may assuage his feelings by raping the nearest person that he comes across. And sometimes, there have been cases of killings, of child molestations, babies being molested and killed after that. I think it has a lot to do with the access to pornography.

“This becomes worse because a lot people in Malaysia are addicted to drugs. A combination of drugs plus Internet pornography is a sure formula for crime unlimited.

"We should ban this thing. We should ban pornographic material from getting into Internet.”

He also advised the crowd to stick to the facts and not to fabricate news. “Not all bloggers are good like me,” he said tongue in cheek.

But Internet censorship is out, he added.

“While in the past, we can close down the printing shops, we can seize their papers, we can do a lot of things. Today it is just impossible.

“The only thing I am glad is that I’m no longer the prime minister. So this is not my problem. It is the problem of the government of today, the prime minister of today. I wish them good luck.”

MELAYU BY A MALAY - Syed Imran

I got this from a friend and decided to post it as it explains in great detail what a Melayu really is. It is time we stopped those who corrupt the original meaning in order to use it to divide Malaysian.

Mahathir should know this since he registered himself as an Indian in Singapore where he studied medicine. Inside him, he knows the real reason why he now considers himself a Malay and refuses to acknowledge his Indian roots. There are opportunists everywhere and UMNO has become the platform for them to satisfy their greed. It will also be the platform on which they destroy themselves.

The Deputy PM expressed disappointment with the Chinese for not voting UMNO but when you look back at recent history, did he thank the Chinese for their role in getting independence for Malaya? The Chinese, Indians and Malays were supposed to be equal partners as a condition for obtaining Merdeka. Then, the Malays asked for 25 years of "Special Privileges" so that they could catch up with the other races. Along the way, they changed the Constitution and it is now an unquestionable "Malay Right" for perpetuity. Look at your genuine history books (not the ones they distorted) to see if I am telling the truth. Or go to the newspaper archives in the Straits Times and in London to get to the truth.

Because of this, the UMNOputras own the banks, the plantations, petroleum. The Malays are encouraged to start and own their businesses entirely on their own (100%). The non-Malays start their own businesses but when they get big, 30% must be given to bumiputras. Who are these bumiputras? They are selected UMNOputras ( not ordinary Malays)  - those who use politics to get what is not rightfully theirs. They use the law to rob others of their wealth. Yet, they will not give a single share to the ordinary Malays in the streets - it is all theirs to keep. They will not do what they ask the non-Malays to do - sharing their wealth.

Not only that, they rob the ordinary Malays daily with the Water Concessions, the Tolls, etc.

CH

Melayu By a Malay-Syed Imran

You may have already read this article I published more than a year ago, below this is another article written by a "Malay" who I salute, that reinforces what I have said.

I'd like to challenge your article on the origins of the word Melayu.

(I hope you will not be emotional about this email and create an issue about it, but rather treat this as an intellectual  argument between two matured individuals. I have presented facts here for you to review, and if you disagree please substantiate it. Since you have come out with a blog to attempt to tell us the origins of the word Melayu, and as a Malay, if you are really and truly keen in your own heritage and roots, I am writing to you with the facts of the origins of the word Melayu, in fact there are many scholars of yesteryear's, Malays, who will tell you that the only original words in the Malay language are "Tanah" and "Melayu")

Melayu is derived from the Javanese word Melayu, there are many other words in the Malay vocabulary that actually come from the various Asian languages mostly those of Sanskrit Origin.

The Sanskrit in Malay is derived from the Indian influence of the Majapahit, Srivijaya and other Indian influences in South East Asia. This particular word in Bahasa Malaysia is derived from the word Melayu from Javanese.  Javanese was the lingua franca of the people in the region having had its own script, which was actually taken from the Arabic script, the bugis and the rest have dialects close to Javanese.

The Malay language in its romanised context only evolved in the early part of the 20th century.

In Javanese the word Melayu means running  away, or a runaway, that is why if you go to Java and ask a Javanese if he is Melayu he will feel very insulted. The word Melayu found on  the statue as claimed in your URL;   http://www.sabrizain.org/malaya/malays4.htm thus denotes that this person was a Melayu, a "Runaway."

These people, the runaways whether in Sumatra or in the Malay Peninsula referred  to themselves as orang Melayu, it is therefore no coincidence that the word orang is placed before Melayu, people who ran away so to speak.

In the Malay Peninsular, it was gradually accepted as the word to describe the Javanese, the Bugis, the Menang, the Achinese etc. and even the Kelantanese who are actually Yunanese and have their origins in China, because they recognized the fact that at the end of the day they were all Melayu, or Run Aways from their respective homelands the word was accepted by all these communities to describe themselves.

In fact, before the formation of the United Malays National Organisation (UMNO), it is a fact that all the people in the country had referred to themselves as Menang, Achinese, Bugis, Javanese etc. etc. and we all know that the Kelantanese used to treat the other Melayu, that is the Menang, Javanese, the Bugis etc. as foreigners.

Well for that matter, even Mahathir Mohammed was registered as Indian in King Edwards College where he studied medicine.

The Malay therefore very much like the Indians, and later the Chinese are Melayu in the very true sense of the word because they all left their respective countries to come to this location in South East Asia called Malaysia today.

The real natives of the country are the Orang Laut, the Jakun, the Kadazaan, the Iban, the Senoi and the rest, and not the so called Orang Melayu, because these people are actually Javanese, Achinese, Bugis, people from the Mollucas islands, and other parts of neighbouring Indonesia, including those from Cambodia and even China (Yunanese). That explains the word Melayu in various parts of Sumatra too.

The Javanese people in particular were referred to as Java Kontra a term they despised and today in Sumatra they are referred to as Orang Transmigrasi which is more acceptable to the Javanese in Indonesia then the term Melayu.

For Malay citizenship and for permanent residence reasons, the Orang Java, be they Sundanese, Orang Java Barat, Orang Java Tengah or Orang Java Timor, or any other Indonesian for that matter recognises the fact that the day he becomes a Malaysian citizen, he is now an Orang Melayu that is a new word coined by Malaysians of these origins to legitimise their Bumiputraism.

And to become Bumiputra this way, that is by becoming a Melayu, he has to profess the Islamic faith. This privilege is not extended to Dayaks, from Kalimantan, or Christian Filipinos, or for that matter Christians from among the peoples of Sumatra, Java or any other Indonesian Islands.

The  irony of all this is the fact that if you look at the real Orang Asli of Malaysia as a whole you'll find out that the majority of them are not from the Islamic faith, and that is one of the reasons why in Sabah the registration department of the Federal Government legitimised and gave citizenship and permanent residence status to hundreds and  thousands of illegal Fillipina immigrants from the Southern part of the Philippines.

I therefore disagree with your attempt to legitimize the term Orang Melayu as a race, it is not and never will be. The so-called Melayu must own up to their own heritage the way the Chinese and Indians in Malaysia proudly do.

And if we are to use this word called Melayu, it should be a term used to refer to all Malaysians except the ethnic Malaysians who are orang Asli.

The term Bumiputera was coined and the Malay placed in that category to legitimize the fact that he is ethnic when he is not.

It is a shame, and in fact a disgrace that they are the only group of people who by this very act, show the world that they are ashamed of their own heritage.

And who else can be so? Only those who run away or are banished from their own lands, for it is only such people who are ashamed of their own heritage.

Even the customs, the traditions, the dressings, the architecture etc. point to the fact that the so called Orang Melayu of  Peninsular Malaysia are actually not one and the same people.

Scroll below and read the next article by Syed Imran a Melayu and an ex Bernama Journalist from Penang.

Some time ago I wrote about the Melayu and the origins of the name Melayu, which means runaway.
Today another "Melayu has written" totally unconnected this man, yes he is a man he stands up for the truth has written a similar article.
I am sending both these articles to you for your reading and circulation.

All immigrants

Syed Imran, an Arab-Malaysian born in Penang, Malaysia, an ex-Bernama journalist (1971-1998) and former press secretary to the Minister in PM's Department, posted a great blog days ago, which was translated into English.

Please circulate it and let all Malaysians understand the facts.

*Antara pendatang dan penumpang (English Translation) *

To begin with, I was quite reluctant to comment on the mess created by the statement made by Ahmad bin Ismail, the head of the Bukit Bendera, Pulau Pinang UMNO Division.. Whether he made the statement in reference to Chinese Malaysians is no longer the question, as the issue has spread and has been hotly debated.

If it is not handled carefully and smartly, this issue could make clear water murky, giving opportunity to parties who are keen on seeing this country crash, not to mention falling into the hands of foreigners. In today's borderless world, international electronic media coverage makes it difficult for any country to hide or deny any given event.

The main issue brought up by Ahmad Ismail revolves around the question of "squatters", that is, that Chinese Malaysians are squatters in this country. He explained that he was referring to pre-independence days. However, it had hurt the sensitivity of the Chinese Malaysian community.

I don't know Ahmad Ismail personally, but I was quite close to his late elder brother, Abdul Rahim Ismail, the owner of Rahim Construction Company that was once famous as an "Earth-Prince" (Bumiputra) construction firm in Pulau Pinang.  I don't know what has happened to the company after Abdul Rahim passed away.

Personally, I don't agree with what Ahmad Ismail said for the following reasons.

To me, nearly 90 percent of Malaysians, especially those in the Peninsula, are immigrants, and all of us are actually squatters in the land of Allah anyways. We are anything but permanent owners, we are merely squatters.

For example, I come from a family that squatted in this blessed land. My paternal grandfather and grandmother migrated from Mecca and Brunei, while my maternal grandmother came from Hadramut, Yaman. We are immigrants and squatters, as are almost everyone else in this country.

As for Ahmad Ismail, he is also an immigrant having descended from an immigrant's family who squatted in this country. Ahmad Ismail cannot deny the fact that his grandfather and grandmother moved from India to this country in search of a better life in this blessed land.

It is also the case with Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi whose maternal grandfather hailed from Guangdong in southern China. In short, Pak Lah's grandfather, Allahyarhamah Kailan, whose name was Hasson Salleh or Hah Su Chiang, was an immigrant. He moved to Tanah Melayu from Guangdong in the mid-19th century. He stayed in Bayan Lepas as a rubber estate worker, a padi farmer and later became a diamond trader.

Najib Tun Razak, Deputy Prime Minister, is also a descendant of an immigrant Bugis family that came from Sulawesi, Indonesia. Hishammudin Hussein cannot escape the fact that there is Turkish blood running through his veins.

The Malacca Malay Sultanate was founded by an immigrant coming from Sumatra -- Parameswara, a prince who practised Hinduism.

A reading of the history of Malay Sultanates would reveal that some of them were founded by Bugis immigrants, while others were of Hadramut and Minangkabau parentage.

Almost all Malays living in this country are from outside Tanah Melayu, but are defined as "Malay Race" by the Federal Constitution. We are "Malay" in definition by the Constitution, that is, we are Muslims; we practise Malay customs and speak the Malay language. Unfortunately, the Malay language itself seems> to have been killed by the Malays in UMNO when they named it the Malaysian language (Bahasa Malaysia).

Therefore, Arabs like Syed Hamid Albar and myself, Achehs like Sanusi Junid, Indians like Kader Sheikh Fadzir and Nor Mohamed Yakcop, Bugises like Najib, Minangs like Rais Yatim, Jawas like Mohamad Rahmat, and others from Madura, Pulau Buyan, Siam, Myanmar, Yunnan (China) and the Philippines are conveniently categorized as Malays.

They are accepted as Malays regardless of whether they speak Malay or otherwise at home like those of us who speak Arabic, the Jawas that speak Jawa, the Minangs that speak Minang, or the Mamak that speak Tamil.

These languages are anything but Malay if we look at it from the perspective of the Federal Constitution, so they should never have been declared Malays. But for the sake of political correctness, all of them are accepted as Malays and "Earth Princes" (bumiputra).

It is grossly unfair to point to the Chinese as immigrants when the Arabs, Indians, Achehs, Minangs, Bataks, Mandailings, Jawas, Maduras, and Bugises are immigrants no less in this country. We cannot deny the fact that most of the Chinese's grandfathers and

grandmothers migrated to this country in the days of the Malacca Malay Sultanante, some of whom did so during the period of Kedah Sultanate, Terengganu Sultanate and Kelantan Sultanate respectively. After Francis Light wrested Penang from the hands of the sultan of Kedah in 1786, more Chinese had arrived here.

We are all immigrants squatting in this country. Only the Negrito, Jekun, Semang, Jahut, Orang Laut, Orang Darat, Senoi, and other indigenous people groups (like the Kadazandusuns, ibans and bidayuhs) can be correctly considered the original inhabitants of this country.

We must never forget the contributions and sacrifices made by all the races in building our nation in all its aspects, including the economy, social structure, national defense and, most importantly, national unity. We are all taxpayers whether or not we are descended from immigrants or squatters.

I’M SORRY, MOM….

Mommy dearest, I’m so sorry to have let you worry. Cher & I were too excited about watching internet dramas in our room. My cellphone was in my handbag on the bench outside ~ didn’t hear it ringing! I switched off Cher’s earlier in the room to kill the “wave”. Mom wanted to call & tell us she has found the book at her place which Cher borrowed from the club’s library. It’s about time for her to return it. Nothing big deal in fact.

When she couldn’t reach us through our cellphones, she came “breaking-in” to my apartment with the spare keys. Dad was angry of my usual negligence instead of worried. He believed nothing could have gone wrong with both of us, mother & daughter, in our own apartment. Either he has faith in me to take great care of ourselves or he just couldn’t be bothered!

Mom wouldn’t have rested in peace tonight if she didn’t drop by to check on us! Luckily it’s only about 5 mins drive away.

I kept apologizing to her & thanked her for her concerns to drop by & check on our safety. I told her I did not expect anyone would have called me at this hour anymore, that was why I couldn’t hear the cellphones ringing....

See the difference between a dad & a mom?? Don’t get me wrong, I love dad too but our ways of communication seems to have started wrongly from the beginning. It’s okay, never too late to start anew. I know deep down, he loves all of us the same but he has problems expressing himself in “nice” ways. I’m determined to change myself towards communicating with him now as it’s a lot easier to change ourselves than to change others.


EVERYBODY FEELS A BROKEN HEART SOMETIMES

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I planned to have my hair bobbed when I turn 40 years old later. Especially when more grey hair is visible and I want to color it!

Came across this song These Walls by Teddy Geiger that day: “…..Cause everybody tries to put some love on the line. And everybody feels a broken heart sometimes….”

What do you do when you feel broken hearted??

I had my hair cut (without the coloring) and I’m feeling so much “light-headed” now.

100TH DAY

On this 100th day since grandma has left us, this was our first reunion. Of course, not everyone was present but it was joyful day. As if grandma was amongst us….

THE GHOST

You feel safe & secured when you see light in the day. Familiar faces have become a comfort. There are priorities like making ends meet, friends to catch up with, what food to eat, emails to reply, etc. etc..

When the darkness falls, you feel chilled & shaken. That’s when you think of the ghost! Or is it the ghost in you has taken control over you??

when darkness falls

UNCLE MATT

Uncle Matt woke up at 3am last night. He claimed that to be the tea’s fault which he drank earlier. Ever since grandma passed away, the Indonesian maid was sent home, he’s left all alone in that house. A humble 3-bedroom turned 2-bedroom terrace intermediate single-storey house~a little too big for him alone now. At 63 years old, no wife, no children, only a pet fish and cable TV are currently his only companions.

I know it’s not easy for him. When grandma was around, if he didn’t see her awake before him every morning, he would check on the sleeping beauty if she was still breathing. It has become a morning ritual for him. When he went home late after appointments, grandma would nag at him like he was a rebellious youngster who stays out late. Now…..the house is so deadly silent when he reaches home. This is why when dad or mom scolds me for some mistakes I do, I’m able to enjoy it! And this saves a lot on unnecessary troubles too.

I can understand why uncle Matt’s planning to move out from that house & live in a small apartment. I can understand how his dinner tastes like when he has to cook & eat alone. I can understand how much he misses grandma. I can understand how hard he’s trying to adapt himself living alone now. Uncle Matt is one of my favorite uncles among 10 other siblings. No doubt he would never want to impose on anyone, I wish I could do something for him when he needs help later.